Seven Day Epoch
by sophiecassiethalia
Summary: It all happens in a week. It's late September of your 7th year, and you have it all figured out. You're Head Boy and Girl and you're both doing well in all your classes, and perfectly happy dating different people. Except, there's a war, and the world is crumbling, there's a good chance you might die, and you're both completely ignoring the fact that you're in love with one another


**So here it is! My first story, which is probably waaaayyyy too long for a single chapter fic (like 64 word doc pages), and probably has a fair amount of errors in it. Some things may not be so great about it, and some things might be okay, but I really hope you enjoy it because I've worked really hard on this.**

 **This is definitely an M-rated fic, even though it may not seem that way in the beginning.**

 **I have some OCs in this story, but they don't really matter all that much, even though the story opens with talking about one of them.**

 **A NOTE ON MY LILY"S CHARACTERIZATION : I've always seen Lily as this strong, independent, capable, young woman who, despite being strong, is not indestructible and like any of us is vulnerable, and can be hurt. She is living in a world where people of her heritage are hated, and discriminated against, and I feel that, as much as she stands up for herself, against the prejudice that is so common in her world, she is still affected by it, like anyone would be. She is amazingly strong, but still human. (I suppose I kind of modeled her off of Buffy Summers, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer)**

 **Follow my tumblr (please!) I'll love you forever. I think the link in my bio is broken at the moment, but my username is the same as my username: sophiecassiethalia.**

 **I love all of you so much, thank you for reading this! Please review (but keep it somewhat nice, criticisms cool, berating isn't)**

 **Xxx Thalia xxX**

* * *

 _EPOCH_

 _ep·och_

 _ˈepək/_

 _noun_

 _a period of time in history or a person's life, typically one marked by notable events or particular characteristics._

* * *

Claudia Bennett was undeniably one of the most beautiful women on the planet.

She had wide amber eyes with long lashes that curled elegantly away from her eyelids. Her cheek bones were full and high and were without a single blemish or mark to deter the view of her sun kissed skin. Her small bony nose sloped upwards into two full brows that arched upwards in perfect symmetry with one another, giving her eyes a classically romantic look. Dark wavy hair framed her elegant face and fell like the finest silk, a softly flowing waterfall to the area just above the small of her back.

Her sultry voice left through plump, blush pink, bowed lips and drifted easily through the air grasping hold of the listener and suddenly they were placed under some divine enchantment of her own making.

Claudia was tall, looming over most girls, but still shorter than most boys. She was not extremely thin, but shapely in a way that made heads turn towards her wherever she walked.

Full, plump, breasts rested on her chest and were accentuated further by the soft and inverted curve of her waist. Her hips were full and she laid claim to a behind that many people couldn't help but stare at. The full slope of her hips gave way to thighs and legs that, while not thin or particularly muscular, were still quite long smooth and beautiful.

She moved with a certain ease that was specific to herself, elegant but confident, which matched her personality. She was a pureblooded witch, from a well-respected family descended from the Dearborns.

Claudia wasn't an exceptionally gifted witch. She was best in household charms and practical spells that would one day give her a place as the rich and beautiful wife, on the arm of a rich and powerful man.

But for now, Claudia walked the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, clutching the arm of a certain James Potter, who was her current boyfriend of almost six months.

Where Claudia was beautiful, James was devilishly handsome.

His sharp and roguishly handsome bone structure granted him a jawline that was sharp and defined, and cheekbones that were high and full with slight hollows beneath them. His nose was long and thin, and his brows were thick and full, sloping over two large eyes that grew more and more beautiful the more you looked into them.

His eyes were hazel: a soft light brown with flecks of green and gold intertwined. They were bottomless and held the echoes of laughter, and mischief, and dreams within them. They were framed by long lashes that shadowed against his cheeks.

His hair had a mind of its own, inky-black and sticking up at crazy, uncontrollable, angles, and always looking as if he had just gotten off a broom.

Most of the time, he wore glasses, which were thick and square and this only served to make him more handsome.

James was quite tall, towering over most of the boys. His long hours on the quidditch pitch riding a broom had granted him toned muscles all over his body, which the female (and even a few male) population of Hogwarts took a great liking to.

James Potter and Claudia Bennett made a good bit of sense together; the children of two rich, well-off, pureblooded families who would be thrilled at the thought of them marrying.

James and Claudia Potter would have gone on to live a normal, happy, life with James working as head of the Auror Department, and Claudia as a dutiful housewife.

They would've had three beautiful children who would have grown up safe and loved and gone on to be just as happy and successful as their parents.

One would often find Claudia Bennett and James Potter roaming the grounds of Hogwarts together, Claudia on James's arm.

Quite often, one would find them kissing in the many alcoves of Hogwarts, James's talented lips wrapped around her plump ones, his teeth sometimes pulling at her bottom lip turning it a darker pink.

Claudia made sure to come to his every quidditch match, cheering for him at a the right moments dutifully. She followed his lead, and respected his space, and was tender and caring , just as she was raised to be.

However, besides the fact that it just made sense, there was no real reason why Claudia Bennett and James Potter were together.

Claudia was the paragon of the perfect girlfriend, and James should've felt completely fulfilled and happy with her on his arm.

But he didn't.

With Claudia, he never would.

Lily Evans however….

Well that was a different matter altogether.

* * *

One might say that Lily Evans was probably even more beautiful than Claudia Bennett.

Of course beauty is a matter of opinion, and ones personal view of beauty is based on the perception and perspective of said viewer.

But regardless one could not see Lily Evans and Claudia Bennett next to each other and not consider Lily to be equal, if not more blessed, in looks than Claudia.

Where Claudia was a classic beauty, Lily possessed a beauty that couldn't be classified into a category.

Lily had a small heart shaped face with high rounded cheekbones which were covered in smooth alabaster skin that was dotted with a few light freckles. He nose was small and bony and climbed upwards to a pair of red, full, high arching eyebrows that sloped along her brow.

High brows gave space for her large, emerald-green, eyes, whose shade match that of the emerald green hue of the death curse. Her eyes were enchanting and haunting, and looking in them put you into an almost hypnosis-like trance, as one could be easily mesmerized by their endless depths.

Long red lashes framed each of her eyes, brushing softly against her cheeks when she blinked. Lily possessed long, curling, auburn, hair that resembled the color of fire in the light daylight, and the color if blood in the dark. It curled gently about her face, falling halfway down her back like a shining aura of flames.

Her cheeks had a natural blush to them, light and pink like a summer rose. Rosy-pink lips that were plump, and soft, and would curl into the widest, most-beautiful smile that would make her cheeks rise into little apples, sat upon her face. Her smile was usually accompanied by her soft, tinkling, infectious, laughter, that filled an entire room with happiness and joy. It was her propensity to smile and laugh that made her all the more breathtaking.

Lily was quite small, she was shorter than most girls, and far skinnier too. She was small and birdlike in her stature, and as a result wasn't the most shapely of girls.

Lily had small breasts that sat close to her chest, unlike those of many other women her age. There was no sharp inward curve of her waist, only her flat toned stomach. Her hips did not protrude out very far, and her bottom was nothing exceptional. Lily's legs were very long and very thin, and like the rest of her, were lean and toned.

Her soft smooth pale skin sloped against her bones and muscles, and many would kill to be able to run their arms along all of it.

To hold her tiny body in their arms.

Lily was also an exceptionally gifted, brilliant, muggle born, witch, from a not-so-well-off muggle family.

She was extremely gifted in combative magic, and though her small size often had her labeled as weak, or delicate, in reality she was quite the opposite,

Lily was a fierce, and talented duelist, and many fell at the mercy of her wand. Despite her small size, Lily could hold her owin in a physical fight, often using her small weight to her advantage.

Her flaming hair was matched by a flaming temper, one that was firey, and biting, and offensive, and could easily get out of control.

But her fire is part of what made her so magnetic.

She was explosive, and dynamic, and she was absolutely brilliant. She threw herself wholeheartedly into everything she did, and had an unparalleled capacity to love.  
Unparalleled except for one James Potter.

* * *

Lily Evans had been dating Matthew Donohue for almost two years.  
Matthew was a sweet, honest, kind young man who came from a solid half-blooded family.

He and Lily had met when sitting next to each other in charms class. After being friends for about a month, he'd asked her to Hogsmeade and she'd agreed.

The two of them had gone out for butterbeers, and they'd sat in the Three Broomsticks together and talked the entire time about their families, and their classes, and shed made him laugh, and he'd made her smile. Afterwards, he'd held her hand and walked her back to her dorm, where he'd kissed her softly on the lips and said goodbye.

Matthew was what you could easily call the perfect boyfriend: he kissed her at the right moments, had said "I love you" when he should've, made her smile, and always had time for her.

He was the vision of the perfect golden-boy, he had sun kissed, tan, skin, a handsome face, bright blue eyes, and blonde hair.

He and lily looked very good together.

They, like Claudia and James would have gone on to get married and would've been very happy. They would've had two beautiful children and would have felt fulfilled in being husband and wife, and raising their two children.

They would've, if it weren't for James Potter.

* * *

James and Lily were both talented and gifted, and often clashed in a way that would bring out a fiery passion that consumed the both of them.

Nobody could quite figure out if they hated each other, or loved each other although they figured that they were somewhere in between love and hate, considering the existence of both Claudia Bennett and Matthew Donohue in their respective lives.

Lily and James were more complicated than most, their tendency to constantly be at odds made it hard for them to be friendly to one another without them eventually descending into a passionate argument.

To James, Lily was brave, beautiful, and passionate. She was kind, and brilliant, and caring, and magnetic.

Hed felt the pull of him to her from the second he'd seen her.

To Lily, though shed initially seen him as arrogant and pompous, she'd come to see James as brave and loyal, a person whose brilliance rivaled her own, he was handsome, and could make her laugh better than anyone else.

She too felt the way she was pulled towards him, and the way her heart beat faster, and skin felt hotter when he was around.

It was common to witness moments between the two, they were friends of course, they'd managed to solidify a friendship early on in their 6th year.

These moments when they'd get lost so completely in each other and where the two of them together felt so undeniably right.

But they ignored it.

Because James had Claudia and Lily had Matthew.

Still, when Lily was hurt, or sad, it was not Matthew that she ran to. It was not Matthew that she was unafraid to cry in front of. It was not Matthew that she could show weakness around. It wasn't Matthew who would pull her into his chest and hold her, somehow making everything inexplicably okay. It was not Matthew who she could tell her deepest fears to. It wasn't Matthew who saw just how strong she really was. It wasn't Matthew who could make her laugh fully and infectiously. It wasn't Matthew who understood every inch of her soul like it was his own. It wasn't Matthew who made her heart beat fast, and took her breath away, and made her feel like she was falling, unable to stop.

It was James.

It was always James.

Similarly, Claudia Bennett was not the woman that James would go to when he was scared for his ailing mother's life. She was not the one who he could cry to, undeterred with the idea of seeming weak or emotional. Claudia Bennett was not the woman who would hold him when he felt the world was falling apart around him and him with it. She was not the woman who would hold him and somehow it'd be okay. Claudia was not the woman whose cheeky and mischievous grins, and vivacious personality made him laugh. Claudia was not the woman who could match him blow for blow, and in rage, and in passion. It wasn't her who made him feel safe. It wasn't Claudia who made his heart beat faster than he thought his chest could handle. It wasn't Claudia who knew all of him, who understood the complexity that was James Potter.

It was Lily.

To James it had always been Lily.

James and Lily held onto each other like one would a lifeline.

Because the world was falling apart around them, and they were falling apart with it, and people were dying, and the sound of crying and screaming constantly filled their ears. But, as long as Lily had James, and James had Lilym they were okay.

They were okay.

But yet, despite their erratic heartbeats, and the souls in their eyes that so clearly matched the others', and the way they were both falling completely into one another, they wouldn't let themselves feel or act the way that felt so right, and that was so right for the two of them.

So, James was still with Claudia, and Lily was still with Matthew.

Because that was the correct way for things to be.

Because there was no way that Lily and James were actually in love with each other.

 _Right?_

* * *

It started with a duel.

Such a situation was one that Lily Evans usually avoided within the walls of Hogwarts, despite her talent with a wand, and in all of her time as a student had never been the type of person who would walk up to someone and attack them just for the fun of it.

No, if Lily Evans was fighting someone it was because they definitely deserved it.

This duel occurred during Lily's (and James's of course) 7th and final year at Hogwarts.

Now, the walls of Hogwarts were far more peaceful then what lay outside of them, where, a war, where people were fighting to the death, fighting over the worth of the blood that ran through their veins and whether or not they should be allowed to live because of it, raged ferociously and unstoppingly.

There were many families in the wizarding world who had ancestors that descended from witches and wizards and remained full of purely magical blood, without the intermixing of those from non magical blood. These families were pureblooded and many of them prided themselves in it.

There were other witches and wizards who were just as magically gifted as those who were of pure blood but were descended from families whose blood had intermixed with those of non-magical blood, and these people were seen as half-blooded, and not nearly as worthy of distinction, as those whose blood was pure and untarnished.

Then, there were those who, despite being as gifted and talented as any witch or wizard of any blood could be, lacked magical blood all together. These were what many called the mudbloods, they were seen as the despicable lowlings of a magical society that they should have had no place being a part of in the first place

It was over the state of the blood that ran through their veins, and the presumed worth of it that this war was fought.

The war headed by a truly terrible man, if he could even be called that, for he was truly too terrible to even be considered human. He called himself Lord Voldemort and his army of pure and worthy blooded witches and wizards all had a vendetta against any and all muggle blood.

Lily Evans was a mudblood.

The duel that she came to fight in would be reflective of the war that raged outside of the walls of the school, a group of pure blooded elitists against herself, a mudblood.

Lily was walking back to charms class when it happened. She'd had to give a report to Professor McGonagall on the prefects duties, and, as a result, was running very late to class, which was something she did not like doing at all.

Because classes were long past started, Lily found herself wandering quickly down empty hallways. It was almost completely silent in the halls of her school, the only sound being that of her shoes clicking softly against the grey stone floor of the corridor.

She was on the fifth floor and heading to the staircase to make her way to the third floor charms corridor, when she was unexpectedly grabbed by the neck and slammed into the corridor's cold stone wall.

The impact made her vision go fuzzy for a minute, so it was hard to make out who the six dark figures were that surrounded her.

"Mudblood" one of them snarled, and though she could not see very well at the time, Lily could hear just fine, and she knew very well who that voice belonged to.  
"Avery" she hissed, her voice strangled, due to the tight grip he had on her neck.

Michael Avery was a pureblooded, wizard, from Slytherin House, who, after graduation, would go on to become a death eater. He came from an extremely influential, pureblooded, family that was well-respected, and held a great amount of sway in the wizarding political scene.

Lily blinked again, allowing her vision to clear, so she could finally see who the other five figures were.

To the right of Avery stood Amycus and Alecto Carrow. Twins, a boy and a girl who, while not the smartest of the bunch, made up for what they lacked in brains in cruelty. They, like Avery, came from a rich, well-respected, prominent, pureblooded family.

Closest to Avery was Nathaniel Mulciber, a large, very muscular boy who prefered physical combat over duelling. His family was considered pureblooded, but suspicions of muggle-wizard breeding by distant cousins had removed the Mulciber Family from being included in the likes of pureblooded royalty, such as the Carrows and the Averys.

The two who stood to the left, furthest from Avery, were Electra Bulstrode and Europa Selwyn. Both were wicked with a wand, and tended to make examples of just how good they were by terrorizing muggleborns. They were both considered pure-blooded royalty, and, like the rest, would join Voldemort post-graduation.

Avery pushed her further into the wall, making it even harder for her to breathe. Lily had to open her mouth wide to catch enough air to breathe. She brought her own, much tinier, hand up to grasp Avery's, grabbing it and trying to twist it so he had no choice but to release her throat, but, Avery caught her hand before it reached its target, grabbing and squeezing it, pressing it uselessly against the wall behind her.

"Oh Evans," Avery hissed mockingly as the other five laughed like hyenas. "You've always been such a fighter. That's something I have always admired about you."

Lily's green eyes glared angrily at Avery, looking every bit as deadly as the curse that shared their color.

"So," she began, her voice rough and strangled, yet unwavering. "You're going to kill me, right? You're going to kill the mudblood?" Lily tried to smirk as defiantly as she could under the pain of Avery's hand crushing her throat.

"You really don't know when to shut up do you?" Avery snarled, he crushed her hand, so hard that the bones crushed and popped against each other.

Lily gasped in pain, her eyes closing, her mouth opening, a strangled, high pitched sound escaping, unintentionally. Lily forced eyes back to Avery's defiantly, closing her mouth tightly, a snarl evident on her face.

"You're getting predictable Avery," she smirked mockingly at him.

Lily felt the tip of a wand press painfully into the soft hollow beneath her cheekbone, making her skin press inward, against her teeth. Electra Selwyn had come closer to Avery and her, and it was her wand that was pressing harder and harder into her cheek her dark voice speaking sharply into her ears:

"Those are brave words for a Mudblood"

Lily growled through her teeth, her breath hot and scalding.

"Like you'd know a thing about being brave," she hissed

Electra angled her wrist upwards, pressing her wand even harder into Lily's cheek, causing her to hiss softly in pain

"You bitch" she said. Lily smirked at her.

It was then that Avery leaned in, Electra slowly backing away, glaring, to give him room. He pressed his body hard against hers, making her feel uncomfortable. He set his head to the right of hers, his lips close to her ear, and whispered to her.

"Were going to kill you, mudblood," he said. His breath was hot against her ear, and it made her feel sick. "We're going to kill you, and then we're going hide your body where no one will ever find it."

Lily swallowed nervously, fear for her well being pulsing through her veins. Her heart beat loudly in her chest, the rapid pulsing pressed against her ribcage.

Lily didn't doubt the truth of Avery's words for a second, he would kill her, and he would hide her body away so that he got off without a single punishment.

She knew that she had to escape, and when she saw her chance, Lily quickly brought one of her legs up, jamming it into Avery's hip. She brought the other leg around in a quick kick, forcing his tall form to buckle and fall away from her with a grunt.

Avery held his hands to her neck his grip unrelenting. With her only free hand, Lily used his momentary shock from the previous impact, and gripped the forearm that held her. Lily used all the strength she possessed to force his hand into a position where he could no longer hold her.

She held his hand away from him, incapacitating it from catching her again and caught is other hand tightly in her grip as it swooped towards her in an attempt to catch her again.

While Lily might have been tiny and birdlike, she was far from being weak.

She brought her knee up towards Avery, kneeing him hard in the bollocks two times.

With a grunt, Avery fell, collapsing to the ground at his friends' feet.

As for the other five who surrounded her, they had stood in shock since Lily had first hit Avery as if they were entranced.

Quickly, Lily pulled her wand out of her back pocket, squeezing it tightly in her fist as she pointed it at Avery, sending a quick body binding curse his way, preventing him from doing any further harm.

She rose her wand to each of the slytherins, her chest heaving heavily in an attempt to catch her breath, preparing to defend herself.

* * *

Mulcibers fist and a nasty hex shot by Europa went flying for her first.

She ducked under the punch and heard the hard impact of Mulcibers hand connecting hard with the wall, and parried away Europa's hex, catching it defty with her wand.

Mulciber screamed in pain and outrage, the impact of his hand against the wall breaking the bones of his hands and the skin of his knuckles.

Lily send a quick _flipendo_ towards Mulciber and Electra, finally allowing her to break through their ranks and run far enough down the hallway, that there was space between the her and her attackers.

They dissolved into a rapid succession of wildly flashing spells, hexes, and curses.

Lily dodged and shielded herself from the fast arches of light, she landed a few well-aimed curses on the group in front of her, but duelling five, adept, duellers gave them the advantage and her focus was on defending herself.

Lily's eyes focused on the task at hand, honing in on the Slytherins in front of her. Her arm sliced, and circled, and jabbed, and swished instinctually, casting spell after spell.

It might've been Europa whose hex managed to slip through her guard, catching her thigh with a powerful slicing hex. She could feel the sudden warmth of her blood trickling slowly down her leg, pan non existent due to the adrenaline pumping through her. She hissed dangerously at Europa, her blood boiling with nervous anticipation.

It was like she there was a tightly wound knot in her stomach that was waiting, anticipating, their every move and calculating the drawbacks of ever risk she took. She was more alert than ever, her heart beating fast, time slowed down.

Alecto was the first to descend into darker spells, sending a well-aimed constriction curse towards Lily. It spiraled from there, the flashing light of spells that soared past her, over her, under her as she dodged and deflected, became those of darker and more deadly spells.

Her own slicing hex hit Amycus Carrow right in the stomach and he fell to the ground in pain his face a look of shock. Lily's own personal fear was too great to feel any horror and causing his blood to spill. He groaned, fumbling to stand up again, and Lily took his lapse in attention as her chance to stun him. She barely watched as he slumped against the cold stone floor.

Europa growled angrily, seeing Amycus's defeat. She sent a new set of vicious and deadly hexes Lily's way.

A dark red spell and a purple hex caused her left arm to burn and her stomach to feel as if it were being torn. An orange jinx left her blood feeling as if it was boiling. Lily screamed through her teeth, sobbing angrily through the pain.

She threw up a quick shield charm and thanked her quick reflexes for only allowing those few spells to hit her.

Adrenaline pumped through her veins, making the pain brief, her mind focusing on more important matters, like staying alive. Her chest heaved quickly in terror, butterflies dancing violently in her stomach, she tasted blood on her lips.

Mulciber fell as his own _flipendo_ was sent back at him, sending him flying into the furthest wall. He smacked against it, crumpling like a very large, very muscular puppet whose strings had been caught. She sent a freezing hex at him for good measure, guilt at injuring another person once again a distant thought from her mind.

Europa's dark eyes had narrowed into slits as Lily duelled her, Electra and Alecto simultaneously. Barely managing to protect herself. As Lily blocked two spells from Electra she heard Europa whisper a curse under her breath, so soft, but to Lily, blaringly loud. The incantation making her stomach churn and her veins feel like ice.

" _Sectumsempra,"_

Many feelings and emotions pierced painfully through Lily's heart: betrayal, hurt, anger, motivation.

Lily ficked the spell away from her body.

It hurt, hearing Snape's self-designed curse used against her, especially by the likes of Europa Selwyn. Snape, who used to be Severus, her once best friend who had taught her that she wasn't a freak like her sister said, who had taught her all about about magic, about Hogwarts, about how she was special, how there was a whole world for people like the two of them, and then had ripped it all out from under her with one cruel word.

 _Mudblood._

Even after so long, the conformation of his loyalties, still struck a painful chord through Lily's heart. The hurt she felt in the pit of her stomach turned to anger. Anger at Severus, Anger at the world. Anger at the war. Anger at the blood-purists. Anger at being written down as undeserving of having magic because of her blood. Anger at being called a mudblood. Anger at being treated like she was dirt, like she was nothing.

Lily Evans had flaming red hair and a famously hot temper to come with it.

And right now, Lily Evans was angry.

Very angry.

Everyone was still for the smallest moment, a single heartbeat, during which energy arched dangerously through the air in between the opposing parties. Lily tightened her grip on her wand, her knuckles turning white, her cheeks flushed ferociously, her teeth pressing together tightly, grinding against each other, She could feel her hot breath exhale through her lips with every angry breath she took. Her eyes were glaring ferociously, emerald green and beautifully terrifying.

" _BOMBARDA!_ " Lily screamed, her rage and hurt emanating through the air as she sent the spell hurtling towards the wall nearest Alecto Carrow, causing it to explode completely apart into an avalanche of tumbling, flying, grey stone. Her emotions extremified the effects of the spell and rubble collapsed on top of Alecto as she let out a soft, pitiful scream. Lily was temporarily pulled out of her rage and stared at the pile of rubble in horror and fear as Alecto ceased to make a sound from under the collapsed stone

She was pulled out of her guilt when she heard Electra screamed the next curse, in retaliation.

" _CRUCIO!"_

Lily dove to the ground as quick as she could force her body to move, fear pumping faster and faster through her body, her heart beating painfully against her ribs, the red burst of light narrowly missing her head.

They were using unforgivable spells.

They were 17, the same as as she was, and they were using spells that were aimed to rob you of your will, to torture you beyond belief, to kill you.

Lily was horrified.

She was terrified.

The reality of the situation she was in hit her, and made her gasp for painful breath. Not just the reality of the duel she was fighting, but the reality of the war, the reality of what truly lay outside the walls of her school.

Electra and Europa were aiming one cruciatus, after the other at her. She was fighting for her life. She was fighting for her life now, and would have to fight for her life in the war too. In the end there wasn't going to be a winner or a loser who would shake hands and walk away.

There was a winner, and there was the dead body left behind.

Lily could win, or she would die.

Lily's mind went blank, and her instincts took over. At some point in the blur of rapid-fire spells, Europa Selwyn fell to Lily's nasty " _confringo",_ leaving parts of her body raw and burnt.

Electra Bulstrode collapsed as multiple slicing hexes and a stunning spell hit her in quick procession.

And Lily, herself, collapsed to the floor from the shock of what she'd just done.

Her breath was short and panicked as it left her lips, her eyes darting around rapidly. Her stomach rolled in sickening waves. It felt like she was trying to swallow something very large and painful. Her limbs, were heavy, like lead, frozen in horror.

She couldn't look away from Avery's slumped figure, from Mulciber, frozen, all the way down the hall. From Amycus Carrow who lay bleeding and stunned. Her eyes locked on the pile of rubble under which his sister lay. She stared at Europa Selwyn's partially charred body, her eyes shut. And her eyes scrutinized the pool of blood emerging from beneath Electra Bulstrode's prone figure.

She had done this.

Was this War?

Was this what it was like in the real world?

Or was it worse ?

Lily gasped, her breaths coming in and out, too deep, and too fast. Her eyes darted around even more frantically, helplessly, going from one prone figure to another in rapid succession. Her she could feel the rapid, thump thump, of her heartbeat in every inch of her body, blaring in her ears, beating faster and faster until it hurt. Her breath continued to escape her lips, quicker and quicker, getting thinner and thinner, it felt as if she weren't breathing at all.

The shock, the loss of adrenaline, the realization that six Slytherins had just tried to _kill_ her, like really _kill_ her, within the halls of Hogwarts, where she thought she was safe, and the reality of what she had to do to them to survive.

It all hit her, one after the other, unceasingly.

It caused her heart to beat faster, and her stomach to feel sicker, and her breaths to come out quicker and thinner.

She threw up on the ground in front of her, gagging and coughing up the contents of her stomach, the acid burning her throat and her mouth.  
She stared at the area that shed just gotten sick on, shocked, her body shaking, and her mouth open.

She felt like she was a little girl once again, she felt so small, scared, and insignificant.

She let out a loud, terrified, desperate, heartbroken sob.

And she sobbed.

And she sobbed.

At some point strong arms wrapped around her shoulders tightly, in an embrace she knew well, but couldn't recognize in her broken state. They pulled her up, holding her tightly, holding her together, pulling her away from the scene.

She didn't react.

She couldn't.

She was passed from person to person like a doll, she was poked and prodded, and yet, still responded to nothing.

At one point, she looked up.

Her green eyes met hazel ones.

She blinked.

And then, her eyes rolled back into her head.

And everything was dark.

* * *

Lily woke up, her hands and feet were cold, curled in the thin, sterile sheets of a hospital wing bed. She was covered in the a drafty hospital wing gown that bunched up around her waist. It was obvious that she'd been asleep for a long time, but but she felt the least rested she'd ever felt in her life.

The sun drifted through the curtains surrounding her bed, too bright for her eyes.

Lily's head was pulsing painfully and it felt too stiff and heavy to move, her throat felt painful, bruised, and scratchy, and her eyes were tender and puffy, like she'd been crying, and burned when she opened them.

Lily could feel dread, nestled deep in the pit of her stomach, churning it into a thousand tiny knots of worry. She had a million questions running through her head. The curtains surrounding her bed were drawn tightly shut, sealing her off from the eyes of others.

Her neck felt sore and bruised,and it hurt when she moved it. She winced, remembering how Avery had held her by the throat in an iron grip, squeezing it tightly.

From outside the confines of the curtains, she could vaguely hear voices, but her head was swimming and they seemed to drift around her formlessly, not taking any solid or understandable shape.

She thought she heard Matthew's voice, deep and pleading, begging. He seemed to want her to do something, to talk to him, to look at him. But Lily didn't know what to do, she wasn't quite sure how to process and understand how the world was moving at a breakneck pace around her.

Lily remembered the Slytherins who'd attacked her, and she saw their faces dance in front of her, remembering their crumpled, mangled, bodys that had fallen to the floor at unnatural angles. Lily's stomach rolled sickeningly, and her chest felt tight, she gripped the white sheets in her hands harder, crushing the white fabric in her tiny fists tightly.

Despite what they'd done to her, Lily couldn't calm the guilt and worry that pulled at her insides. They were horrible, bigoted, and extremely cruel people and had no reservations about seeing her, and others like her, dead, but they were still people. Lily hadn't wanted to hurt them, she didn't want to be responsible for the blood and the pain of others.

Were they going to be okay?

Had she killed them?

The questions reverberated through her head, and the guilt in her stomach churned and twisted at her insides.

She'd seen their blood, she'd seen their broken, charred, mangled bodies, and she'd known she was the cause of it.

Guilt consumed her and she hated it. She'd had no choice. They were trying to kill her. They would've killed her if she hadn't fought for her life.

Six Slytherins had attacked her because they didn't believe that her blood gave her the right to be alive. They'd held her against a wall, and had thrown spell after spell at her in a duel where she was outnumbered five to one, they'd tried to use unforgivables on her.

Lily Evans had come to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry when she was eleven and a half years old. Little Lily was all knobby knees, pale skin, red hair, freckles, and wide innocent green eyes that were eager to take in everything that this new world she was now a part of, this _wonderful_ new world, had to offer. She'd read every book from cover to cover; her excited brain soaking up all the new information in them, she'd practiced everything she learned, she'd written extra on the essays shed been assigned, she asked questions, she spent countless hours in library, she did as much as she could to soak up everything this new world had to offer, eyes wide with complete fascination.

It didn't take long for her work her way to the top of her class, her teachers would refer to her as one of the finest witches they'd ever taught, shed received top marks on her OWLs. The wizarding world was where Lily belonged, she knew it. She was born to live in this world where pictures moved, and owls carried letters, and you flew on brooms for fun.

Except she soon found out that not everyone thought that.

Despite how brilliant she was, how talented, how clever, how skilled, some people would still tell her that she _didn't_ belong as a part of this world.

Because she was a _muggleborn_.

Because, unlike other students at Hogwarts, Lily didn't come from magical blood.

Her blood was dirty, they informed her. She was a _mudblood._

She was somehow less worthy of being a witch, because _muggle_ blood ran through her veins, she was like a disease that no one wished to come in contact with, she was disgusting, revolting, sickening, and people of her kind should be removed from magical society.

Lily didn't get it, she couldn't understand it, how she was somehow _less_ because she hadn't been raised a witch, why that made her unworthy, why she was considered dirty blood.

Avery, the Carrows, Mulciber, Electra, and Europa had cornered her in the hallway, attacked her, and tried to KILL her. Because she was a mudblood.

Lily's hands wove their way through her tangled auburn hair, curling around knots as she pulled through it anxiously, hurt bubbling in her stomach. She felt small, so, so, small and insignificant, she wanted to curl up and hide from the world that saw her as a despicable speck of dirt, tarnishing their pristine society.

How many more would try and kill her because she was a mudblood?

Would it ever end?

Lily was overwhelmed with emotions: anger, indignation, fear, sadness, and terror all coursed through her body at once, hitting her in large waves that consumed her.

Lily squeezed her eyes tightly shut, pinching the sheets tighter in her fists. She reminded herself to breathe. To take one minute at a time keep her head afloat in the sea of emotions that threatened to drown her.

She tried to tell herself that she was safe now. _But was she really?_

She told herself that t was over. _For how long?_

Lily forced the next breath that she took to be slow and calm. She forced the air to fill her lungs completely and when she exhaled, she imagined all the stress and pain and tension in her body were pushed out into the air, away from her. It was a calming tactic that her mother used to use on her when she was small.

With every breath she took more worry, more fear, more panic exhaled away from Her body.

She was alive.

She had survived.

Lily felt her heart swell as victory surged through her. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

Lily smiled softly, though no one was there to see it, a peaceful expression passing over her face.

She had survived.

This time.

* * *

In the total of three days that she spent in the hospital wing, James Potter hardly left Lily's side.

When she woke again, his hazel eyes met her green eyes, and she saw the worry, and the fear, and the care, that lay deep within the perfect mix of brown, green, and gold.

She tried to smile at him weakly, shakily, and he knew, he just knew, how small, and alone, and terrified she felt.

His calloused fingers brushed her bruised throat gently, his touch warm and tender, and he stared at her tiny figure with a desperate, terrified, angry look in his eyes, and his head fell down against the cold bed, defeated. She raised her arm up to his head and brushed her tiny, soft, hand through his unruly hair, enjoying how soft and silky it felt running through her fingers.

He turned his head to stare up at her, his eyes glistening with soft unshed tears, and she could see how completely terrified he was.

"Lily," he whispered her name like a prayer, and despite the ever-present chill and thin blankets of the hospital wing, Lily felt warm and safe.

She wanted to speak to him, to tell him everything that happened, to explain to him how scared, and hurt, and alone, and terrified she was. She wanted to tell him how small and insignificant she felt, how weak she felt, but her voice had been strangled out of her by Michael Avery.

But somehow he knew, like he always did, exactly what she was feeling and he knew exactly what she needed. So he grasped her firmly, in his warm, safe embrace, and engulfed her tiny form, and let him hide her from the world that seemed so big, and so scary. He didn't say anything when he surely felt Lily's warm tears soak into the soft cotton of his shirt, he only held her tighter.

James snuck in at night, under the shroud of his cloak and spoke softly to her into the early hours of the morning, his voice just above a bedroom whisper, talking about nothing and everything all at once.

Every night, she would find herself wrapped up in the arms of James Potter, and once again she would ignore the undeniable rightness that was being with him, and she would find herself falling back into the embrace of Matthew Donohue. Lily would let him kiss her softly, pressing his soft lips to hers, and let him run his hands down her soft skin, and hold her in his arms, pretending she wasn't craving for someone else's arms to hold her, for someone else's lips to kiss her.

And James would kiss Claudia, desperately and lovingly, holding her curvy body against his, and running his calloused hands over every inch of her skin, and he would pretend that he didn't wish for the body in his arms to be smaller, and more birdlike, and for the hair he tangled his fingers into to be auburn, and not brown.

He convinced himself, that he wasn't thinking about how perfect her skin felt against hiss and how perfectly Lily fit into his arms. And, he would dream of how he'd held her in his arms, tightly, like she was his whole world, and felt the way she clung to him desperately,like he was hers too.

And, once again, things would be as they always had.

* * *

Unfortunately for herself, the the duel that had taken place a week ago seemed to create more problems then Lily Evans was prepared to deal with.

Truthfully, all that she wanted to do was lie down on her soft bed, ignore the world outside of her warm blankets, and refuse to get up for a good 12 hours, pretending that she didn't have a problem in the world.

But, instead, Lily Evans was currently packing up her things after Transfiguration class, not wrapped up in her warm blankets, not asleep, and very aware of the outside world and all of the problems that came with it. Problems, that seemed to exist with every breath she took.

At the exact time that Lily Evans would be drowning in her troubles, James Potter, oblivious, would be walking away from Transfiguration, down to the quidditch pitch, one arm around his broom, and the other arm around the curvy waist of Claudia Bennett.

His fingers would be gently stroking against her arm, rubbing small circles against her skin, while Claudia talked softly about her classes and whatever was happening with her father in the ministry.

Lily however, was walking from Transfiguration towards the hospital wing for a brief check in with Madame Pomfrey (she had only just gotten out of the hospital wing 4 days ago, after all).

Her eyes quickly located the stern healer, who was bent over a bed, changing the sheets. Once the bed had been made to perfection, and the sheets confirmed to be without a single wrinkle Madame Pomfrey looked up at her, her hard, stern grey eyes scorching her skin.

"Miss Evans" she said, her voice as sharp and clipped as always. "How are you today?"

"Im fine." She said her voice shallow and tired, and the woman's lips pressed together into a sharp, thin, line.

 _Liar_ , the annoying voice inside her head spoke up. _You're not fine._

"A bit tired, I suppose." Lily shrugged the voice out of her thoughts.

Apparently, Lily being ' _a bit tired'_ was quite worrisome to the Matron and Lily found herself being relentlessly questioned. _Had she been eating well? Was she feeling dizzy? Was she sore? How many glasses of water was she drinking a day? Was she doing anything that could be considered strenuous?_

Lily answered each question appropriately- _Yes, I am eating well. No, I'm not dizzy. No, I'm not particularly sore. I've been drinking plenty of water. No, I haven't been doing anything too physical lately._

Her answers were empty and monotone, she responded without thinking with the answers that she knew the healer would want to hear, barely even thinking about whether or not they were the truth. (They weren't)

After surviving Madam Pomfrey's inquisition without the matron reaching any conclusion, it was simply concluded that she was healing fine and that she should go to her next class, and then, she was promptly dismissed from the hospital wing.

Lily listened to he experienced healer tell her that she was fine, she heard her tell her to return to wherever she needed to be, to continue doing everything normally because she was fine, but really, everything Lily had told the woman was the complete opposite of the truth, and she wasn't sure if she'd ever been less fine than she was right now.

She'd been lying to herself, telling herself that she was fine, she was great even. But that was a lie, it was all a lie, and hiding from the truth is great…...until it all comes crashing down on you.

She'd been pretending to be fine all week. No, longer than that, she'd been pretending she was fine ever since the _bloody_ war started with its _fucking_ blood prejudice, and her facade was breaking, the tsunami of hurt, and fear, and pain all crashing down upon her, and she knew she was most definitely not fine.

Blood prejudice had been something that Lily was well aware of, even prior to the duel. She'd been defined by her blood status from the second she set foot into this world. She'd heard the soft whispers of _mudblood_ when she walked down the halls. She'd been treated like and object, a possession. She'd been told what her place was. She'd been attacked, disrespected, and still, she'd always walked away with her shoulders back, nose turned upwards, eyes proud.

But for the first time, Lily didn't feel ready to stand tall and proud against those who deemed her unworthy. No, instead, she felt very, very small.

Lily felt worn down, and so very small. It felt like if she were to curl up into a ball right there, on the corridor floor, she would simply wither away into nothingness.

She felt so insignificant, because the entire world was against her existence, and she was just Lily, and who was she to believe that she could stand up against an entire world full of people who all seemed bigger and stronger and more powerful than she was.

She was only Lily.

Lily liked to pretend that she was capable of great things, she liked to pretend that she was powerful, and strong, and fierce, and brave. She liked to dream about how she'd change the world, how she'd make it better, how she'd do great things.

But that was all it was, wasn't it?

 _Pretending._

Lily had a very distinct memory of her father taking her to the London Zoo on her 7th birthday. While they'd sat by the giraffes, eating mint chocolate chip ice creams together, she'd proclaimed that she was going to change the world and make it better. Lily had smiled when her dad had looked down at her, his own big, cheerful smile causing his cheeks to pinch and his bright and happy green eyes to crinkle, and squeezed her tiny hand and told her that he was sure that she would.

The memory made her sick.

Because it was all a lie.

 _A fucking lie_.

Who was she to believe that someone, as small and insignificant as she was, could change the world.

She was only Lily.

Small, little, tiny, insignificant Lily.

She was so small, and she felt so vulnerable, and all she wanted to do was hide herself from the world. She wanted to unsee every horrid thing she'd ever seen, she wanted to unhear every cruel jibe, every demeaning comment shed ever heard. The world was so big, and so scary, and there was no way someone like her- _just Lily_ -could survive in it.

She was terrified.

Her heart beat painfully against her ribs, her throat was tight, and her eyes were full of unshed, scared, tears. She bit her bottom lip painfully, trying to manage the painful tightness in her chest without letting the tears slip down her cheeks. Lily wrapped her skinny arms around her fragile frame as it shook, her hands crushed the fabric of her robed in small, tight fists.

 _Little Lily_ , she thought, _small, insignificant, scared Lily._

She felt like she was a tiny grain of sand, being thrown about, uncontrollably, by the rough ocean waves. She was being thrown upwards and downwards and whichever way the current pulled her. She was powerless, at the mercy of the immeasurably large ocean that surrounded her.

Every day, another muggle born was murdered, and she would be a fool if she believed that she wasn't going to end up the same way.

She was a small and insignificant bug, and the world would celebrate her death.

There was a whole world full of people like Avery, like the Carrows, Like the Bulstrodes, Like the Selwyns, Like the Mulcibers. A whole word of people who all wanted her dead.

She hadn't truly realized it, not until she'd faced them all, and had seen the fire in their eyes, and had heard the deadly curses slide through their lips. She hadn't truly realized how much they wanted to kill her.

Lily was lucky. She had survived this time. But what about next time? What about the time after that?

She could feel her heartbeat in her chest, beating a rhythm against her ribs, it was strong and healthy, she'd felt it there her entire life. It seemed weird that one day it would just stop.

She didn't want to die.

But she felt so powerless to stop it.

The thought of dying made her wrap her arms tighter around herself, as if that would keep her from falling apart. Lily swallowed the sob that was inching its way up her throat.

She _was_ falling apart.

The world, it seemed, had finally broken her.

The wall outside the head dormitories(which she'd just reached) was cold against her back as she slid down to the floor, her legs finally giving out. Her hair caught on the rough stone, no doubt creating wild knots and tangles, and her robes dragged behind her, pooling at the most awkward of places.

Her arms were wrapped around herself, but she still felt cold and alone. It seemed that no matter how tightly she held herself, it didn't stop her from shattering into a million tiny pieces.

She wished that the arms surrounding her weren't hers, but instead the warm, muscular, arms of the hazel-eyed boy who could hold her tightly and make everything okay again.

She was falling apart and the only thing she wanted was the feeling of James Potter's arms around her, protecting her from the world, putting all the broken pieces of her back in the right place.

She longed to stare into the his hazel eyes and nuzzle herself securely into his chest, inhaling the scent of pine and leather. She wanted to see his face break into a smile and hear him go breathless from laughter, she wanted to see his cheeks flushed from the heat of the fire, or the wind of the quidditch pitch.

She wanted him to tell her it would all be okay.

She wanted him to take her into his arms, as he so often did, and gather all of her up and hide her from the rest of the world so that it would just be him and her, and she would feel safe. She would be completely consumed by all that is James Potter because he felt so right, and no one knew her so completely like that boy. And finally, she would be happy and everything would be okay.

But he wasn't there.

She wanted to scream for him, to call for him, to beg him to come find her, to come help her, because merlin knew she fucking needed it.

But she didn't scream. As much as she wanted to, she just didn't have the strength for it.

So instead, she sobbed.

" _James"_ She gasped, the sob forcing its way past her parted lips. " _Please."_

No one heard her.

* * *

Completely unaware of the very-broken Lily Evans who was currently sobbing outside their shared dormitories, James Potter was walking back to Gryffindor Tower with Claudia, holding her soft hand loosely in his.

He took a moment and stared at her, watching her talk, appreciating the angles and curves of her face. She really was beautiful. She'd worn her hair in a braid, his favorite type of hairstyle on her, which left stray waves of her soft brown hair curling about her face.

She was currently speaking eloquently about the recent developments in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Her tone was poised and reserved, as if she were scared of saying something that he wouldn't agree with, and her voice remained dispassionate and unopinionated.

Once again, James couldn't help but guiltily crave the passionate and fiery arguments, exuberant and fierce temper, and the annoyingly stubborn opinions of Lily Evans.

Such a way of talking was typical of Claudia, who'd been raised in a house of old-world ideals, she had been taught to share her opinions warily, delicately, and always try and refrain from having them at all. Claudia held a future as a well-behaved socialite, and James tried to pretend that that didn't bother him at all.

James kissed Claudia softly outside the portrait of the fat lady that guarded the entrance to Gryffindor tower. His supple lips pressed against hers slowly, softly, feeling the plumpness and softness that he enjoyed pressing against his mouth.

His hand cupped her warm cheek, which was soft and tender, and her small nose bushed his delicately, her hot breath spreading over his skin. Her mouth was warm and wet and she knew how to apply just the right amount of pressure against his lips. Her tongue had snuck its way out of her mouth and traced gently around the opening of his own mouth, making it warmer and wetter. He took her tongue inside his mouth and he hid his own inside of hers and they tangled them together in a habitual dance, pressing against each other, trapping the hidden warmth of their mouths in between them.

His hand slid back into her hair, tucking the soft silky strands that had escaped her braid behind her ear, placing them there delicately and sliding his fingers all the way down the soft strand until they fell off, with nothing to grasp on to.

He retracted his lips gently from hers, feeling their hot breath mix in the small space in between them.

When he was with Claudia, he smiled warmly, and he would hold her hand, and he would listen to her talk gently, and he would hold her, and he would tuck the soft, loose hair behind her ears, and kiss her softly.

But he always seemed to have this feeling, housed in the pit of his stomach, that reminded him that every kiss with Claudia, every touch, every tender moment, was a lie.

Unconsciously, he knew it was because she wasn't Lily.

( _Consciously, he wouldn't admit that._ )

When he smiled at Claudia, he would unconsciously think of the redheaded girl who could make him laugh.

When he heard her talk, he would unintentionally remember of the passionate, feisty, biting debates that he often heard from the mouth of another.

When he held her, he couldn't help but dream of the tinier, bonier, figure of Lily, and think of how she fit so perfectly in his arms.

When he gently tucked Claudia's soft hair behind her ears, he imagined what it'd be like to touch loosely curled auburn hair instead.

When he kissed her softly, his mind's eye thought of Lily's perfect lips, and what her soft skin would feel like under his calloused fingers, and how warm and soft her lips would be, and how right that would feel.

Not that he would ever actually admit to that.

Claudia's brown eyes opened, and she stared up at him through her curled lashes. She smiled softly, her breaths easy and relaxed.

James gently kissed her on the cheek, his lips pressing softly against the soft rounded apple of her cheek, allowing them to linger there for a second, his hot breath spreading against her skin.

"Goodnight Claudia," he spoke softly, a sweet, gentle smile gracing his features.

"Goodnight James" she answered.

James turned and made to head back to the head dorms.

Claudia turned and began to ease her way into the Gryffindor common room.

Claudia looked back.

He didn't.

* * *

James knew something was wrong even before he could see the entrance to the head dormitories, there was just this feeling, nestled deep in the pit of his stomach, that unsettled him, making him more restless and jittery than normal, a premonition of sorts.

He walked the halls at normal pace, easing his way down the corridor thinking about the nice, hot, fire that awaited him in the heads common room.

He had a whole boatload of essays to write, for nearly every class that he took, and he probably should've started them earlier but he was James Potter, champion of procrastination.

Lily often berated him for this habit, telling him that one day, he wouldn't be able to finish everything last minute and he'd finally learn the value of " _budgeting your time"._

However, this had yet to happen and he always seemed to get top marks. So, he figured, why change a system when it was clearly working fine?

He often told Lily this and she'd roll her emerald eyes and scoff, muttering under her breath about how much of an " _Obnoxious, arrogant, little prat_ " he was.

Thinking of the fiery, ginger, girl made him smile. His pace sped up slightly, imagining her sitting in the heads common room, red hair thrown back into a messy bun, flickering brightly in the firelight, her green eyes focused, biting on her bottom lip, reviewing her own coursework, ready to rant about whatever it was that had made her the least bit annoyed today.

He enjoyed hearing her scathingly rant and scream about other people or other things much more than he enjoyed hearing her rant scathingly about himself. That wasn't to say he didn't enjoy debating with her, he just didn't enjoy her screaming about how much of a stuck-up, arrogant toerag that he was.

They were both stubborn, opinionated, passionate people, who had no qualms as to defending their opinions, and she was so unlike other girls: outspoken, dirty-mouthed, outgoing, unrestrained, wild, and nothing got him more fired up than exchanging verbal blows with the girl who seemed to be able to keep an argument going endlessly. She was rather stubborn, after all.

Their arguments had changed from how they'd been prior to their sixth year. Instead of being _about_ him, they seemed to be _with_ him. Since they'd developed a friendship, it seemed that Lily and him tended to team up in arguments, ranting about whatever stupid thing had occurred that day, or whatever new, Anti-Muggle decree was being put through the Wizengamot, or the ignorant article that had been printed in the _Daily Prophet_ that day.

On the now rare occasions where they did actually argue, and when things seemed to be taking a turn towards actual anger towards each other, James tended to bring other tactics into play to avoid either of them doing something that would hurt the other.

The number one, most helpful thing that James knew about Lily Evans, was that, as stubborn and unwilling to give up an argument (even if she was wrong) or task as she was, she was also highly distractible. (this was probably the _only_ reason James ever won an argument with her.) That, and she was very ticklish on the back over her neck and just above her hip bones.

James supposed that Lily had similar tactics up her sleeves too. When things got bad, she always seemed to hit him with a pillow relentlessly, until the both of them were laughing too hard to even remember what they'd been arguing about in the first place.

What he didn't enjoy about debating with Lily was how fired up it got them both, and how they both seemed full of tension, and how it always seemed much much hotter in the room after the argument concluded. In particular, the fact that but they had no way to ease that tension between them in any way that was appropriate for two people in relationships.

James had been so lost in thought that he hadn't realized that he was right around the corner from the hallway that housed the entrance to the Head's Dormitories. He swung himself around the corner, eyes focused on the floor, and began to walk the last few meters that it took to reach the entrance to the head dormitories.

A few steps in, he looked up from his feet.

He saw the entrance to the Dormitory.

More specifically, he saw the small red-headed girl curled up into a ball next to it, her long auburn hair knotted, her clothes wrinkled, her skinny arms wrapped around her skinny legs, her head buried into her knees, her birdlike frame shaking like every breath took great effort.

Lily.

He stopped walking.

He started running.

* * *

Lily heard him before she saw him.

Her spine straightened slightly when she heard the familiar pattern of footsteps against the grey stone floor. She rubbed her swollen, puffy, green eyes, against her knees, never lifting her head, sweeping the tears on her cheeks away.

Her hands shook against her arms and her breath felt thick and heavy in her throat, her stomach tore at itself and once again she felt so much smaller and weaker than the rest of the world.

She was a leaf in the autumn, paper thin and light and barely holding on to the tree, so close to being blown into the air, cast adrift, a slave a the mercy of the wind that was so much stronger, and eventually she waste away and disappear.

Something in her was broken.

And she didn't have the strength to fix herself.

She wasn't sure she had any strength at all.

The world was rushing around her, faster than she could make sense of, but she was staying still unable to hold herself against the rushing speed of the world around her. The world was tossing her around and throwing things at her that she couldn't handle, she was caught in the current of life, and it was pushing her under, drowning her.

She saw him down the hallway, and watched as he took one look into her puffy, red tear-filled eyes, saw the emerald green that now resembled broken glass, and she knew he would help her.

She knew he could save her.

Because Godric knew she couldn't save herself.

"Lily," he breathed. The sound of his voice filled her body with a burst of warmth, it arched through her, reaching her fingertips and curling her toes. She could breathe again.

Broken emerald met deep hazel. Her eyes traced the Familiar planes of his body and face, his messy hair, his slightly parted lips.

He was running towards her, she realized.

She saw him, and, after such a long time where she'd been trying to hold her tears in, trying to silence her sobs, trying to pretend that she could hold herself together, she felt like she didn't have to hold it all in anymore.

It seemed quite suddenly that he was in front of her, crouching, his calloused hands cupping her face, holding her cheeks, lifting her eyes up to meet his.

All it took was one look.

She could see his eyes, boring into hers, piercing deep into her soul, reading her like an open book. She could see exactly where the mossy green of the inner center of his iris blended into amber brown, and she could count each of his long dark eyelashes, and map where they brushed against his cheeks when he blinked.

His eyes melted her, she was held in the tender embrace of his gentle hazel gaze and she felt safe and warm, and the knotted tension in her heart and her chest and her stomach seemed to unravel instantly, and her breaths were no longer painful.

James brushed his thumb against her cheek, wiping away a stray tear that had escaped her eye.

He smiled at her gently, tenderly, his full lips curving softly.

Then, his arms were coming around her lithe frame, lifting her up gently, holding her against himself, and carrying her through the entrance of their dorms. He whispered the password, his arms holding her tightly, giving her the safety that she'd been longing for. Lily rested her head against his broad shoulder, pressing her face into his neck and her legs were tucked gently against his sides.

He entered her room, unlocking the door with one hand. James let her legs fall from his sides, her feet still dangling a small distance from the floor because he knew she didn't have the strength to stand on her own.

Her lips were parted as she exhaled against his neck, she could feel the wetness in her eyes building, her shoulders dropped weakly, slumping against him, molding herself into him. His name slid past her lips as she collapsed completely into him, a soft, breathy, sigh, so soft and so quiet that she wasn't sure if he heard. It left her lips she felt her warm breath spread against his neck, heating up the skin there.

James exhaled softly, she felt his chest fall against her's. He grasped her desperately, crushing her into his chest, fitting her so perfectly into his arms.  
He held her, keeping the horrible, terrible, terrifying, world from crushing her, he supported all of her weight, and clutched her tightly against himself, surrounding her with his warmth.

James held the broken pieces of her together, preventing her from shattering completely. She clung to him tightly, like he was a lifeline, like he was the only thing left that she could hold onto.

James was there.

In his arms, she was safe.

And finally, _finally_ she didn't hold it in anymore.

She broke.

She let him see the cracks that were threatening to shatter her completely. A desperate, heartbroken, wet, sob escaped her lips, muffled slightly by his neck .  
James squeezed her tighter, his lips pressing softly against the auburn hair in the crown of her head. Her arms shook but held onto him, and the sobs racked her tiny body, shaking her.

James simply clutched her tightly, and stroked her hair, and let her cry against him.

He just held her.

Perhaps the most simple thing to do, but it was him, James, it was everything she needed just then, and the fact that it was him holding her, and not anyone else, that made all the difference

He didn't let go.

* * *

Even when she was a broken, sobbing, mess, Lily Evans was beautiful.

James acknowledged this unconsciously as he clutched the sobbing girl tightly against himself, the unsettling feeling that he had felt in the pit of his stomach finally dissipating at the feel of her, held tightly within the confines of his arms.

She fit so perfectly, melded against every part of him like puzzle could happily spend the rest of his life holding her.

It hurt to see her like this. James wanted to scream at the world, he wanted to punch the earth and curse the sky for doing this to her, for breaking her apart.

She didn't deserve it.

It wasn't fair.

Lily Evans was the strongest, bravest, most brilliant, and beautiful person he knew, and she deserved better than what the world was giving her.

If anyone deserved to receive all the good in the world, it was Lily. She was a rarity in the world he lived in: She was exceptionally kind, and incredibly loving, she was accepting, she wasn't judgemental, anyone who was lucky enough to have her in their life would understand how much she represented what was perhaps the last bit of pure, untainted, good, left in the world.

Yet somehow, despite how good and how amazing she was, she got thrown into a world of turmoil and strife, where her blood and her parentage made her the target for all the bad.

It wasn't fair, and he wished he could change it.

Her sobs were choked and heartbroken, and he could hear the pain in each one. Every sob was like a could metal rod piercing his heart repeatedly, making is chest hurt. He wanted to take it away, all of it. All the pain and prejudice and cruelty and darkness in the world, he wanted to protect her from it, to hide her away from it and never let it touch her.

Of course, she'd probably kill him if she did.

It would be a lie for him to tell himself that he hadn't seen this coming. She'd been dismissed from the hospital wing and had spent the four days since then telling everyone that _"I'm fine",_ and while she might've convinced every other person at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, she hadn't convinced him in the slightest. James knew, probably better than anyone else, that when Lily Evans was telling everyone that she was fine, in reality she was the exact opposite of fine.

Over the past few days, he'd watch as her stature became progressively more slumped, her eyes became duller, and she looked more and more tired. But still, he'd hear her say that " _I'm fine". I'mfine.I'mfine.I'mfine._ James knew Lily, and because he knew her he understood that she wasn't going to admit just how not fine she was until she realized it herself.

More than anything, James had wanted to pull her aside and tell her she wasn't fine and force her to feel everything that she was so determined to bottle up under the facade of " _I'm fine_ ". So he'd waited for her to uncork the bottle of bottled up emotions, fears, and terror that would all come spilling out. He'd hated it, watching her suffer.

As much as it physically hurt hims to see her like this, a sobbing, broken mess in his arms, he was glad that she was letting herself feel everything she so needed to feel.

Holding her tightly in his arms as he was, actualized how truly tiny she was. She was so little, so skinny, so light, and so small and in his arms she felt like a little baby bird. His instincts were to hold her tightly, hide her away, protect her from anything that might break her fragile body.

He turned his head and pressed his lips softly to her auburn hair, letting them linger there, against her head, inhaling deeply, breathing in her soft floral scent.

Listening to the sobs that shook her body made it easy to forget just how strong, she was. Lily was strong, and brave, and brilliant and she was a fighter. She was an exceptionally talented witch, she was extremely clever, cheeky, and a bit mischievous.

James knew he world was quite good at breaking even the strongest people, it held terrible horrors and cruelty and prejudice. He knew what it felt like to feel yourself breaking apart under its pressure, to feel completely powerless and out of control because you were so caught up in all of the bad things in the world,

It didn't matter if you were the strongest, the bravest, the smartest person in the world, you could still break.

It wasn't fair that the world seemed to do that to anyone, let alone the people, like Lily, who deserved it least of all.

But it happened.

James squeezed Lily against him even tighter, nearly crushing her tiny form in his arms. But James continued to hold her tightly, however tightly he needed to, so that she understood that he was there, and he wasn't letting go, and he wouldn't let her break under the weight of the world, and it would be okay.

Her sobs gradually grew quieter, and James felt her rough breathing, hot against his neck. He could feel her chest rising and falling against his as she tried to calm her frantic breathing, taking in large gasps of breath.

James let his hand trail up her back and into her hair, stroking the loose auburn curls gently, flowing in between his long, calloused, fingers like water.

Gradually, James began to place her on her own two feet: first letting just the tips of her toes touch the worn wood of her bedroom floor, then the balls of her foot, then her heels, until he no longer held her entire weight, but only gently supported her.

Slowly, Lily lifted her head and looked up at him, her eyes searching his. As always, there was a little more than a head's worth of distance in between their faces.

James looked into her beautiful emerald eyes, drinking her in. They were red and puffy with tears that had left wet trails down the soft skin of her face, but still just as lovely as always, her full, rose-colored, lips were parted softly, and locks of curly, red, hair stuck to the sides of her face.

He lifted his hands up to her face, placing them tenderly against her cheeks, cupping them gently, and used his thumbs to brush the locks of hair away, so that they no longer covered her face, tucking them gently behind her ears and letting his fingers run through the delicate strands. He used his fingers to wipe beneath her eyes, sweeping the tears away softly.

She looked up at him, her doe eyes wide and soft, her tear-clumped, wet, lashes brushing the tops of her cheeks when she blinked. James's thumbs rubbed gentle circles on her cheekbones, and he smiled softly at her.

He held her face like it was the most precious thing he'd ever touched, like she was everything and his entire world was her and only her. When he thought about why he led her face like that, her realized that it was because she was. _She was the most precious thing he'd ever touched, she was everything, she was the entire world._

"Lily" he spoke, his voice tender and soft, just above a whisper.

He closed his eyes, gently bowing his head towards hers. When he opened his eyes again, she was looking down at her feet, and he could only see her eyelids that were framed by her long, wet eyelashes.

"Hey," he whispered, allowing his face to draw closer to hers, gently lifting her face so that her green eyes met his again.

No longer trying to look away from him, Lily finally spoke, her voice was hollow and rough.

"Where does it end, james?"

He pressed on her cheekbones lightly with his thumbs "lil-" he whispered not wanting to voice the truth that they both knew, but didn't want to hear spoken aloud: that he didn't know.

"Im so scared," she cut him off, letting the weight of her head fall into his hands. He stared at her, despair for her nestling uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach. His head bent down to meet her line of vision, so he could stare into her broken green eyes again.

It hurt. It hurt him beyond explanation to see her hurting like this, and he just wanted to take all of it away: remove all the pain, all the hurt, remove everything that was wrong with the world, to stop her from ever having to feel like this.

"I'm so scared James." She whispered, her eyes searching his. "The entire world wants me dead because I'm a _mudblood,_ and…. why does it have to be me James? Why do I have to be so despicable? Why am I the dirty one?!" Her voice was quiet, still a soft whisper but he could still hear the infinite amount of pin that was packed tightly into every word she said.

He listened to her call herself a mudblood, he listened to her ask him why she was dirty and he wanted to cause the entire world for making her believe that, for making her forget how amazing she was. He was angry, and only became angrier as he watched a few silent tears leak out of her eyes. James gently swiped them away with his thumbs and swallowed the lump that was caught in his throat.

He pressed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes tightly, their noses brushing softly, her skin soft against his.

"Lily," he choked on his words, pain and anger seizing his own voice from him.

"And I keep thinking," she said, continuing, more tears slipping out of her eyes, her voice growing more and more frantic."It's always going to be like this isnt it? I'm always going to be targeted and attacked because I'm a _mudblood_ " Lily spit the word like it was poison and he winced, hearing her call herself _that_ word making his stomach jump painfully. "And maybe this time I managed to survive,... but I'm just me and everyone wants me dead, and what if next time, or the time after that, or the time after that I….I can't fight them off,... I _don't_ survive? I'm so, so scared James and I just-" James glared at her ferociously, done with hearing her diminish herself, he cupped her face tightly, still pressing his forehead against hers, and looking fiercely into her eyes.

"You," He spoke through his teeth, the word holding all the conviction he could muster, but also begging her to hear him, to really believe what he was saying. "Are not _dirty_ , you are not _despicable_ , you are not a _mudblood_." He could tell that she was listening to him, staring into his eyes with something akin to wonder. "You are Lily Evans and you are so _fucking_ perfect, and you are _ten times_ the witch that _any_ of them are," Tears leaked out of his own eyes, and he didn't bother wiping them away. "And you are _brave_ ," His voice grew softer, more tender, looking at her with more emotion than he'd ever looked at anyone with, begging her to believe him. "and you are _strong_ , and you are _bloody brilliant_ , and you are _beautiful_ ," James stroked her cheekbones softly, so tenderly, feeling her skin, soft like satin, underneath his fingers. Her eyes stared up at him, beautiful and green, and he could feel her warmth, and her breath and all of her that was just so, so Lily. He whispered softly to her "And if anyone has a shot at surviving in this stupid, _fucked_ up world we live in, it's you."

He could see every eyelash on her eyes, could count every freckle on her cheeks, and could identify the infinite shades of emerald within her iris.

James felt the air between them tingle, he felt her warm breath on his skin waking it up. She stood right there, and she was so close to him, and there was something about her being so, so close that drove completely him insane.

Lily closed her eyes tightly, and a few tears dripped down her cheeks

"James" she said her eyes opening, speaking so softly he barely heard it, her voice full of something he couldn't quite place.

She pulled away from him, ever so slightly, and looked so deeply into his eyes, her soft gaze penetrating his very soul, making him feel completely exposed, naked.

"James" she spoke his name softly once again, the sound of her voice spinning in circles around him, mesmerising him. "I don't think I'm going to survive this war."

James could feel silent tears slip down his face. He knew it was a very real possibility, Lily dying. It was a very real possibility that he died too. He squeezed her tighter to him, not truly having an response to her statement. At least, not one that wasn't a lie.

James didn't want to think about what it would be like, to live in a world without her. Visions danced in front of his mind's eye, of lily, dead, poisoned, beaten, bloody attacked.  
James imagined what it would be like to see her green eyes dead, how they'd be dim and lifeless, without the depth and brightness they'd always held.

"Please don't," he whispered, his voice pleading, begging her not to leave him, trying to make her understand that he couldn't possibly live without her. He didn't know what else to say.

Lily smiled sadly, he lips curving softly, as she reached up her small hands to brush the silent tears from his cheeks with her soft, gentle fingers. "James" she whispered sadly, and he knew what she was trying to say. She couldn't promise him anything, she couldn't promise him that she wouldn't die, the future was uncertain and most likely break for the both of them and there was nothing they could do to control it.

"I know." He answered her softly returning her sad smile with one of his own.

He gripped her face tighter in his hands, his thumbs pressing softly into the skin of her ivory cheeks. He looked tenderly into her eyes wishing that she could make him a million promises, but knowing that she couldn't. Their faces were closer now, the distance between them reduced to barely the length of Lily's thumb, their noses just beyond brushing. He could feel her warm breath against his lips.

"James-" Lily whispered, smiling, pulling him just a little closer, and all James could think about was how much he loved the sound of his name coming from her lips

He cradled her face, feeling his eyes widen, and felt the hard bone of her cheekbones under his fingers. All at once, his entire body was both relaxed and burning with flame. Every inch of him tingled, like something was trying to pull him in further, closer to Lily. She was so close to him, and he only seemed to long for her to be closer, and he felt completely overwhelmed, _consumed_ , by everything that encompassed her, and he was a little afraid because, honestly, the feeling that was consuming him completely, and arching his body with fire and making his breaths thick and heavy, and his heart beat fast, was so unlike anything he'd ever experienced before and he wasn't completely sure what it meant, and what he was supposed to do about it.

Their foreheads pressed together, gently resting against one another and he had a small passing thought that he was taking things too far, but he'd never felt like this before and having her there felt so perfect and he couldn't remember why on earth anything with Lily could ever be wrong.

James wanted her to be there forever, with him, holding him just like this.

He took a chance and pressed himself closer, their faces not even a single centimeter apart and the feeling that was brewing inside him grew. He thought about how she made him laugh, and how she could brighten up a room just by being in it, and how she was just so beautiful. James remembered how he spent his entire day wishing she could spend it with him, and how her eyes made him melt because he saw his entire world inside of them, and her smile made him happy and how is entire body felt warm and happy when she was there. He thought of how he hated it when other people remarked on her small size, because she was tiny and that was perfect and he loved the way he could easily lift her up, or fit her into his arms, or wrap himself around her. He remembered how much he loved it when she was angry because her eyes were full of fire and she looked so beautiful. He loved her laugh and how it was soft ,and full-sounding, and infectious. He loved the way she would fall asleep on the common room couch because she was up late studying. He loved how she was outspoken, and smart, and argumentative. He thought of a million other things that he loved about her, that all encompassed how amazing and beautiful, and perfect, and stunning she was to him.

She was Lily.

He loved her, her realized.

Although, realized didn't really seem to be the right word, because he hadn't just _discovered_ that he loved her, it felt as if it had _always_ been there. So admitting it, even though it was only to himself, wasn't some big shock.

It felt like the most natural thing in the world.

 _He loved her._

He smiled down at her softly, tracing the lines of her pretty face with his eyes.

At some point, he didn't know when, or how, but at some point; accidentally, in a single heartbeat, happening so quickly and so quietly that even he didn't notice it, he had fallen in love with Lily Evans.

James's chest rose and fell softly, pressed against Lily's. Her hands were cupping his face, gently, her soft fingers dancing across the skin on his cheeks. She was looking at him through her long, red, eyelashes, her eyes wide with bewilderment, her gaze soft and endearing. Every few seconds, she would blink, her eyes closing gently and her lashes would tangle together and brush against her cheekbone.

"Lily" he whispered, holding her face in his hands. James could feel her name escape through his parted lips, his hot breath spreading into the small amount of space between them.

He was completely and irrevocably hers.

His eyes were wide open, staring deeply into hers, trying to paint every detail of her, of this moment into his memory so that he would never forget..

 _She was so beautiful._

Her eyes were deep and green and he felt like he was swimming in them, drowning. He was okay with drowning in her eyes.

There was a soft silence surrounding them, the only sound were of their breaths and their heartbeats, it was as if they existed in a universe where it was only him and Lily and no one else could touch them. Their gently, warm, breaths mixed in the small segment of air still between them and he could feel the way the air that she exhaled spread against his lips.

He was drowning in her eyes, and he would happily do so for the rest of eternity if it meant that he could feel like this, hold her like this, love her like this for the rest of forever. James could see everything in her eyes, every thought, every feeling, every hope, every dream. It was all so exposed to him, and suddenly everything was completely clear.

He could see it, sitting there, plain and simple, within the emerald depths of her eyes.

She loved him too.

* * *

Her fingers were brushing against his cheeks, the soft pads running tenderly down the skin of his cheekbones, everything about the way she touched him, looked at him, breathed against him, was soft and delicate and full of reverence.

Their chests were pressed together, their foreheads resting against one another, noses brushing softly, hands cupping each other's faces, the only thing that wasn't touching were their lips. James could feel her heartbeat beating rapidly, the sound echoing in his ears.

Her hands were lifting from his cheeks, and he immediately missed the warmth they gave. Her soft, gentle, fingers brushed all over his face, brushing along his hairline, stroking his brows, running across his nose, then back to his cheeks, before they fell to his lips, her fingers dancing across them. Lily's emerald eyes followed her fingers, looking at each feature in bewilderment, as if she was amazed that he was there. Her touch sent arching tendrils of warmth across his skin, which extended deep into his stomach, where it curled deep and warm and so, _so_ good.

They stood there for a seemingly endless amount of time, both of them completely amazed at seeing the other there in front of them. The silence around them, the purity and how untainted the moment was, was so perfect that neither of them wanted to dare breaking it.

A hundred thousand unspoken words drifted silently in the air around them, speaking to each of them silently.

Every time she exhaled, he caught her warm, soft breath in his mouth. Lily inhaled, her eyes softly flickering shut, she pulled herself even closer to him, the space in between them impossibly small.

James's own eyelids drooped slightly, his vision blurry as he stared at her closed eyes, and then at her soft, rosy, lips. He gripped her face tightly, his breath stuck somewhere in between his chest and his throat. Her nose was warm and soft against his and he could smell her skin, the same floral scent of her hair that wafted around him and made him feel dizzy. It became impossible to not breathe anymore.

" _Lily_ " he breathed,eyes finally falling shut.

And then they were kissing.

Their lips were closed around each other and they warmth that he had felt earlier was now trapped between them. It was held tightly in between their lips and extended through every tiny piece of his body from his fingertips to his toes. James unraveled under the sentastion, coming completely undone with her.

She pulled him closer, breathing into his mouth, rising further up onto her toes so she could reach more of him.

Her lips were pillowy and velvety-soft like the petals of a rose. Kissing her was like drinking firewhiskey, it burned in the best possible way and it was euphoric in the way that he'd never felt more alive. Kissing Lily was the most perfect thing he'd ever felt.

James was unsure if he was even on the ground anymore, he was flying, soaring above the clouds impossibly high.

It was a chaste kiss, soft and innocent, but yet it was more intimate than anything he'd ever experienced.

Lily gasped, sucking in the cold air that surrounded them, their lips detached as she inhaled, he felt her slip off of the balls of her feet, making her too far away for her lips to reach.

James inhaled too, his eyes opening, the both of them looking at the space in between them cautiously, as if unsure what consequences it held.

Her green eyes stared into his as they counted the exact number of breaths they let bass in between them. Lily's eyes voiced the thoughts she couldn't voice aloud.

They stared at each other, and it was like every piece of his soul was singing for her. The distance between them made his skin tingle painfully, begging to be pressed up against hers.

 _They shouldn't be doing this._

The thought briefly passed through his mind, and he knew it was true, they shouldn't be doing this.

 _But they were_ , and what he felt for her, and what he knew she felt for him, was too strong, to perfect, too right to be considered wrong.

He loved her, and all rationality was long gone out the window. All he could think of was how much he wanted to grab her body tightly, slam her against the bed, and snog every single inch of her body until she was screaming his name..

He _loved_ her and she _loved_ him and there was no going back for either of them.

He could see in her eyes she knew that.

He could see in her eyes that she was okay with that.

He was too.

He could see how much she loved him, and how scared that made her, but she didn't regret it.

They were signing their fates right there.

Her pretty doe eyes were wide and innocent, and James watched, heart beating fast, as she smiled tenderly at him. She was so tiny and so short and something about that was really, _really_ cute, because he thought of how easy it would be for him to just pick her up and swallow her whole with his much larger body. She was a vision from a dream that he never wanted to wake up from, standing in front of him, so pretty and perfect, staring at him like he was the entire world, smiling softly.

He just really _fucking_ wanted to be with her, and trying to not be with her made his heart beat painfully, and his eyes fill with unshed tears.

Lily looked at him, her eyes wide and terrified, and he could tell her heart was beating faster than it ever had before. She began to take a brave step towards him.

"James" she whispered, her voice almost completely silent.

And _fuck_ the sound of his name coming from her lips broke through whatever force had been preventing him for from reaching for her, and he lunged for her, and before he knew it he was pressing her up against the door of her room.

Lily's back had slammed into the door, her curly auburn hair flying around her like a fire that had raged out of control. She gasped, her breathing quick and heated, her eyes closing for a brief second.

Her chest was warm, pressed against his own; he reveled in the way she made every inch of him feel alive. Somehow, the air had grown hotter, tingling with energy, his skin even more so.

James's arms enclosed her small waist, her small hands found his shoulders. He held her against him, her toes just barely touching the ground.

Lily's fingers dug sharply into his shoulders, her nails pressing through his clothes. Her emerald green eyes boring deeply into his eyes were the last thing he saw before he kissed her roughly on the lips.

* * *

James's lips stole all the air from her lungs as they slammed into her own, fervent and hurried. His breath was hot and heavy against her mouth making her face warm as he pressed hard kisses against her lips.

His kisses were not soft or sweet like they'd been before, they were commanding and all consuming. His kisses brought forth a raw cry that had been building up in her chest, and she was surprised by how _loud_ she was.

James pressed her hard against the wall, she could feel the texture of the wall imprinting hard onto the skin of her shoulders. Their lips fought against each other, pressing and pulling and biting, only stopping to let out the hot pants of steamy breath that made her skin tingle.

Lily was aware of everything and nothing all at once, at the exact moment he kissed her time had absolutely _fucking_ stopped and he just kept kissing her, and kissing her, like no one had ever kissed her before.

James just kissed her and kissed her and kissed her, and it could've been a whole infinity's worth of kisses or it could've only been an instant, but she didn't know because he was _James_ and _dear Merlin she wanted this boy._ He was relentless and bloody perfect and everything about _him_ was perfectly filling her up and she never wanted it to stop. His lips tasted like _everything_ , they tasted sweet and salty, and they burned her like fire. His mouth turned her veins to fire and she felt the pressure of his hot mouth against her own, and the taste of his soft supple lips, and she was sure that she would never have enough.

She felt him everywhere, up her back and over her arms, and suddenly he was kissing her even harder, harder than she'd ever believed was even possible. Again, she cried out, a high pitched gasp that had left her lips involuntarily, filling the air around them with the sounds of her pleasure. He was using his mouth to pull her into him, to try and swallow her whole, and she was trying to do the same to him, matching him in both intensity and urgent need.

Lily clung to him desperately, arching into him, knotting her fists in his shirt, her fingers tangling and pulling at the fabric, reaching for the sweltering warmth of his chest underneath.

Lily could smell him, could hear him, could taste him, could feel him and everything about him was just so, so _James_.

She was kissing _James._

James _fucking_ Potter.

He surrounded her, and he was _James,_ and it made her try and pull him even closer and bite his swollen bottom lip, running it through her teeth. Lily wanted to mold her skin into his so that she could stay this close to him for the rest of her life.

It was euphoric.

She had no idea that it was possible to love someone this much.

His insistent mouth had parted her fervent lips, sending wild, uncontrollable, tremors along her nerves, evoking sensations from within her that she had never known she was capable of feeling.

He burned her everywhere.

His tongue pressed into her mouth, impossibly hot, and she met it with her own as they danced and twisted and pressed against each other, breathing in the air from each other's lungs.

He whispered against her lips, his breath impossibly hot " _Lily_ "

It was both a sigh and a whisper and it sent erotic shivers down every part of her body, making her core pulse.

Her hands wandered everywhere, her spread fingers pulling down her neck and digging into his shoulders. His hands ran over her small breasts, and she felt them tingle, the nipples hardening beneath his fingers. His warm hands pressed into her flat stomach dragging his fingers down it as she gasped against his lips..

Her hands cupped his arse, and her nails dug into it sharply when she squeezed him, hard. Again, Lily took his bottom lip into her mouth pulling, biting at it as it slipped through her teeth. He groaned softly, low in his throat, and the sound hit something deep inside her.

She grasped onto his lips, her own feeling cold and bare, missing the way his burned her. Lips parted, James dove away, insistent upon pressing his lips against the skin on her jaw.

James lay a string of hot kisses along her jaw burning a line to her throat and her collarbones, and her shrill gasps and sighs only made him burn her more, and her core pulse painfully. He pressed his entire face into her neck, his hot lips and hotter tongue, rubbing indescribably scentsations against sensitive skin there.

" _James!_ " She had suddenly lost the ability to be quiet, and his name left her lips loudly. She felt him moan, just as loud, against her neck, the vibrations of his voice making her tender skin pulse.

Her fingers threaded through his hair, weaving through the messy, dark, locks that he never seemed to be able to control. His hair was silky and soft through as it ran through her tiny fingers, the way he was sucking and pulling at her skin made her cry out and pull at the roots of his hair.

James gasped against her skin, his hot breath spreading over her skin. His hands wandered under her shirt, rough against her soft skin, she arched into him, pressing her hips against his, his cock pressing hard against her, as she tried to ease the fire in her veins that was coiling deep inside her. James moaned again, deep and gutterall, his fingers pressing hard into her hip-bones.

Lily's lips were freezing, like someone had injected them with ice, she needed his burning lips on hers again. She gripped his hair roughly, forcefully pulling his kiss-swollen lips back to hers.

His lips burned hers again as he kissed her with insatiable passion, not waiting a second before prying her lips apart and thrusting his scorching tongue into her mouth. His kiss was of the kind that breaks open the sky, it stole away her breath and made her gasp and moan into his mouth.

" _James_ ," she sighed, and he caught his name in his own mouth, his lips vibrating against the sounds she made.

Her hands wandered from his hair to his shoulders, to his ribs, and his waist, desperately grasping at whatever lay beneath her hands. She felt the heat of his skin through his soft shirt, her fingers tracing the edge of his shirt before diving underneath the fabric, feeling the soft, smooth skin of his chest beneath her hands, tracing against the smooth ripples of his muscles.

He breathed hotly into her mouth as Lily's slim fingers traced up his chest, his skin scalding her. Suddenly, his shirt was gone from his body, and she felt his heat everywhere, not just against her lips where he kissed her fervidly.

His own hands crept up her shirt, scorching hot trails over the soft ridges of her ribs. His hands grasped her tender breasts through her bra, and she pressed into him harder, his name and ear-piercing cry as it left her lips. James's large hands kneaded and pressed and scratched her small breasts, somehow knowing just the right spots to rub or put pressure on to make her cry nout his name again and again. The the fabric of her bra seemed so tantalizingly thin beneath his fingers, her entire body tingle with pleasure and the coiling hotness deep within her wound even tighter and grew even hotter, she sobbed in ecstasy.

Her shirt was gone, James had ripped it off of her, and his rough, calloused, hands traced a scalding path between the crevice of her breasts, over her shoulders, down her arms, and to her hands, where his fingers tangled with hers, squeezing tightly. It took little effort for him to lift her arms up above her head and pin them to the wall behind her, leaving him completely in control.

His lips found her collarbone again, and traced the same searing trail of wet kisses that they had before, right to the gentle swells of her breasts. But his hot mouth didn't stop there, diving down the crevice between her breasts, his mouth biting and nipping and licking across every inch of her skin.

Wet kisses teased the edges of her bra, and his breath teased her hardened nipples through the soft turquoise satin of her bra. She was writhing and gasping and begging him, trying to free her hands from his hard grasp, longing for some type of friction against her core.

" _Jaaaaames,_ " she panted, writhing against him, desperately trying to satiate the burning need to feel him between her thighs. Her hips rubbed against his sensually feeling his own arousal press against where she needed him most

James groaned against her skin, "Lily," he moaned, his voice low and primal, almost a growl. All words had deserted her, she whined and pouted pitifully, as she tried to press against him harder, to rub against him faster.

Lily's hands fell from his grip as he grasped her hips, trying to still them. Her nails scratched hard lines into his chest, digging into his skin, as she ran her fingers down the hard muscle that lay beneath his feverish skin. She traced the rise and fall of the hard ripples of muscle on his stomach, and traced the lines of the muscular 'v', that ran down, down, down to places she longed for.

Her hands fought with his belt, clumsy fingers fumbling with the buckle as she tried to remove it as fast as possible. When it clicked open and she tore the belt away from him throwing it far away.

His hands dropped from her hips dragging under her butt and lifting her up, knees bending up to his shoulders, her thighs squeezing his waist. His lips were on hers again, biting at her lips, sending tendrils of fire arcing through her. Lily laughed as she saw him holding back that same troublemaker smirk hed always worn. It took him seconds to clear the entire room and slam her back hard against the opposite wall.

" _James_!" She moaned.

He kissed her like his life depended on it, like she was the most important thing in the entire world and he would die if he didn't get to touch her.

Lily's body felt like it was screaming for his, every square centimeter of her longing to be touched, stroked, _burned._ Her veins were full of liquid fire and her entire body was aflame and she had never felt so alive.

She wanted him.

 _Holy fuck,_ she wanted him.

She wanted to breathe him, lick him, eat him, drink him.

His fingers grappled with the buttons of her jeans, his fingers so close, so _fucking close_ , to where she wanted him most. Her hips thrust into his hands with a wild cry, longing to just have a part of him there, _inside her_.

The zipper of her pants came undone, and he brushed his fingers against the thin fabric of her knickers, gasping, as he felt how positively dripping, sopping, preening with need she was, all for him. He moaned as he withdrew his fingers slightly, feeling her drip down his fingers.

She cried out for him again begging for him to just _fucking_ touch her, she wanted to feel him, all of him inside of her, she wanted to feel how well he would fit.

She wanted him to claim her.

Lily had always fancied herself an independent woman, but right then, all she wanted was for James Potter to claim her, to mark her, to bruise her, and own her fully and completely.

She wanted to be his.

She wanted him to be hers.

He burned her skin, seared her veins, scorched her nerves, he lit her on fire and she wanted nothing more than for him to burn her up completely.

* * *

Lily's tiny body writhed wantonly as he felt her wet, pulsing, heat through her knickers. He pressed her hard into the wall, the heat of her skin against his racing through his nerves like lightning as she practically dripped for him. They were like twin flames, dancing and flickering and slowly becoming an inferno.

His own arousal throbbed, almost painfully, begging to be inside her, becoming harder by the millisecond. Her svelte body was wrapped tightly around him and fuck he loved her so much.

She moaning and writhing against him, filling the air with the most beautiful sounds sounds he'd ever fucking hard, he never knew she was this _fucking_ loud and he wondered if she would scream for him as she came under his hands. The thought nearly made him burst right there, as something deep within him convulsed and twisted deep within him.

He thrust against her with his own breathy moan, longing to feel all of her, to kiss and to love every single square centimeter of her body.

His hands moved up the silky, soft, skin of her back, struggling with the metal clasp of her lacy turquoise bra. Lily's breath caught in her throat as his thumb and forefinger managed to gently unfasten it, his hands rubbing across her naked back reveling in the completely exposed flesh. Her emerald green eyes stared straight into his as she let the small piece of lace fall away from her chest, sliding down her pale arms, drifting towards the floor.

It was _Lily_ , and she was looking at him with her eyes, which were so _fucking_ green, and she was so _fucking_ perfect, and so _fucking_ beautiful. James felt his eyes trace every part of her naked skin, his breath hot and heavy in his mouth as he saw her breasts bounce free. They weren't very large, she was, after all, a very tiny thing. But they were bouncy, and soft, and perfect, and they were _Lily's_.

He learned that her breasts were just about a small handful, and the perfect size to fit in his hands. Her porcelain skin was softer than velvet under his fingers, and he traced the three small freckles that ran across her left breast. James felt her hard dusky pink nipples, which were as pretty as the rest of her, and that thing in him writhed and curled once again, and he felt himself grow even harder.

James latched his mouth around one of her hard, rosy nipples, his tongue drawing circles over and around it. He sucked and bit at the tender nub, kneading the other with his hand, listening to the way she gasped and cried out for him. Lily's back arch, and her perfect tits pressed further up against his face, the soft pillowy skin flattening slightly. James bit softly at her perky nipple, trading his mouth between both of her tits, holding her tightly against him.

His hands dragged their way down her taut stomach, pressing hard into her skin, as he pressed endless patterns into the blank canvas of her skin. His fingers flew to the edge of her open jeans and he began working them as far as he could down her legs, the backs of his hands brushing along the soft skin of her legs. Realizing he couldn't pull them down any further than her mid thighs with her legs wrapped around him, he set her down and watched her lift her legs out of the blue denim, and kick them away.

James smiled widely, happiness surging through him, as he looked at her, completely bare except for her knickers, green eyes shining, curly, fire-red, hair pooling just below her nipples. Because, he remembered that she loved him.

 _Lily loved him._

James grabbed both of her pale cheeks in his hands, and pulled her mouth to his, smiling against her lips.

A breathy laugh escaped Lily's lips as, James broke the kiss and lifted her off of her feet again, so that her toes hung in the air. Her eyes were bright and happy, and she was holding his face gently in her petite hands, staring down at him like he was her entire world, and he swore that every second he looked at her he fell more and more in love.

James carried her to the window closest to her bed, pressing her against the window frame. James caught Lily's gasp in his mouth, kissing her again, sucking on her soft velvety lips, groaning as her hands played with the roots of his hair.

 _"Lily,"_

The feeling of her bare chest pressed against his, her pert nipples and pillowy breasts pressing into his skin, made even _more_ blood rush lower, lower, lower, he was impossibly hard and every single atom in his body was tingling.

He bit and nipped at her lips, pulling and sucking, as his hands skimmed her skin, tracing a light path downwards, brushing over her breasts and her stomach, his fingers settling at the sopping heat that lay at the apex of her thighs.

He felt her through her soaking knickers, his fingers brushing the soaked fabric softly, relishing in the feel of her, so _fucking_ wet for him, groaning, when she thrust herself into his hands with another cry, trying to use her body to gain some type of friction. James smiled against her lips, pulling away slightly, his eyes opening.

Lily's eyes were open too, green eyes looking directly into his, her eyelids heavy and her gaze clouded with lust. He stroked her up and down, slowly, taunting her, wetness pooling around his fingers. She growled at him, low in her throat, well-aware of how he was taunting her. She was thrusting herself, undulating herself against his hand, moaning his name, begging him, the billion knots deep inside him pulled tighter, winding him up higher and higher, so close to the point where they would snap.

"Lily," he whispered softly, staring right into her eyes, the world encompassed of them and only them. James revealed in the fact that it was her, it had always been her, and she was here giving herself to him fully and completely.

" _._. " he whispered her name reverently, like a chant or a prayer, stroking her slowly, listening to her moan for him, as he imagined what it would be like: to see her come completely undone at his fingertips.

He felt his cheeks pinch as his lips lifted into the troublemaker smirk that seemed to be the first sign of trouble from him, grinning at her mischievously-but also softly and full of all the love that he held for her. Lily's eyes sparkled fondly and he saw her own lips curve into a sly grin. She was so fucking beautiful.

Lily's mouth opened, her lips beginning to shape the letters of his name. At the same moment however, James had pulled her knickers to the side and roughly thrust a finger into her wet center, and his name became a strangled scream.

He breathed deeply, the feeling of her walls around him, and how blistering hot the inside of her was, nearly making him see stars. If heaven was real, he had to be in it.

She was so tight.

So _fucking_ tight.

Her hands flew to his hair, her fingernails pressing sharply into his head as she breathed heatedly, her breath melting his skin. He pressed his finger further into her and caressed from within, his thumb stroking her clit.

She was biting her lip as she moaned, breathless, her face falling down against her neck, and she cried his name against his skin.

 _. .James_

She cried his name out again and again, pulling at the roots of his hair. His name sounded perfect coming from her lips, and he never wanted to stop hearing it. Lily's naked thighs squeezed his waist, quivering and trembling. Her breath was scalding hot against his neck, sending heat coursing through him. James groaned loudly as Lily sneakily bit down his earlobe, surprising him and making his fingers jerk from within her.

Hissing, James forced a second finger inside her, feeling her walls clench and stretch with the added width. Lily gasped again, even louder than before, her falling from his hair to his shoulders, fingernails carving crescents into the bare skin of his back.

He kissed her shoulder, listening to her moan his name as he curled and moved his fingers inside her, gasping her breathlessly as he watched her melt under his touch. Her hand moved erratically, as if she didn't know exactly what to do with it, pulling at his skin, scratching the window, finally gripping the edge of the window tightly, her knuckles white, as she cried out for him. Lily's eyes were shut, little breathless pants escaping her mouth as she tilted her head back in euphoria, revealing to him her pale, white, neck.

 _Lily_ , he thought, as his fingers clenched inside her, his mind blank except for little fragments of thoughts.

 _Emerald._

 _Love._

 _Red._

 _Lily._

He wasn't completely aware who _he_ was anymore, just of Lily.

 _EmeraldLoveRedLily._

He moaned loudly when Lily began to thrust herself back and forwards over his fingers, her small breasts bouncing at the movement, riding his hand wantonly.

Her pale, thin, throat was exposed to him, tantalizing. He kissed it, pressing his lips to the point where he could feel her heartbeat, beating strong and fast.

"James!" Lily cried out, her voice somewhere between a moan and a sob and he felt his cock throb, as the knots inside him pulled impossibly tight. His thumb rubbed at her small bundle of nerves, and she was so breathless now that she seemed to be searching desperately for air.

 _EmeraldLoveRedLily._

 _EmeraldLoveRedLily._

* * *

James removed his fingers from inside of her, his wet hand skimming down her thigh. She was on fire, he'd covered her in a roaring blaze and it was burning through every piece of her, Lily had never felt this passionate this _alive_ , she never wanted him to stop.

She gripped his face and kissed him, again, and again, and again. Lily's heart was melting in her stomach, because it was james potter and when he kissed her it was like the love that shed buried for so long burst through every atom of her body, catching aflame, scorching her, claiming her, making it so no other man could possibly touch her again, she was his, completely his.

He made her whole.

1000 tiny explosions arched through her body, and the fire grew hotter and hotter and James was looking at her like she was the most beautiful thing in existence, and touching her like she was the only thing he could ever possibly want and she never wanted him to stop.

His pants fell down his hips to the floor as he walked her towards the bed, holding her tightly against him, lifting her small body up and pressing all of her down onto the the soft, silky, sheets, which were freezing cold in comparison to the fire roaring on her skin. Lily gasped, her toes curling, her legs moving spastically, he fell gently onto the bed on top of her, wrapping his arms around his back, and Lily could feel his burning, sweaty, skin against her own.

He kissed her and her insides sang out to him. She felt whole and happy, safe and loved. Lily's fingers skimmed softly down his chest, brushing over the hot, smooth, skin and feeling the ripples of hard muscle. They traced the v line that disappeared past the hem of his boxers, forcing her slim fingers beneath.

Her small hand wrapped around his cock and he gasped, groaning into her mouth. She stroked him, her hand tracing up and down the length of him, applying pressure where it felt right.

He was extremely responsive, rubbing himself against her, grunting and groaning, whispering her name. James's face fell down to her neck, nuzzling there, muffling his moans against her skin. He bit on her soft, tender, skin, and euphoric sounds left her own mouth louder as she jerked the length of him harder. James groaned so _fucking loudly_ against her skin and she loved it, wanting to hear him make that noise again and again. Lily made to brush his cock harder, faster, but James stopped her, gripping her fragile wrist in a tight grip, and pulling her out of his boxers, shaking his head quickly. Understanding, she nodded.

He shimmied out of his boxers and Lily felt his bare cock press against her inner thigh, turning her insides to a raging inferno. James stared at her as he pulled her knickers down her legs, nuzzling her inner thigh softly.

He held her, his large hands squeezing her ribs, like she was the most precious thing in the world, she felt so small in his arms, his large body covering hers, his hands nearly covering her entirely. James held her tightly as pressed soft hisses all over her, bending his head downwards, away from her lips, kissing her neck, her collarbone, her belly, the top of her breast. She curled her hands in his hair, and held his head to her breasts, breathing him in, closing her eyes.

He'd spread her legs apart, his fingers tracing down her inner thighs, guiding her knees to his hips. She could feel him, all of him, completely bare against her, his cock rubbing against her entrance, Lily gasped and moaned shrilly, her hands dropping to his jaw.

He looked at her gently, and she felt the fire curl deep within her, James brought his thumb up to her cheek and stroked it reverently, moving one of her soft red curls away from her face so she could look in his eyes clearly. She saw all the love he had for her swirling in her eyes, and Lily was overcome by the thought and feeling of just how fucking much she loved him.

"Lily," he whispered, his voice soft and quiet, and she could see in his eyes what he was asking her. _Are you sure? Is this okay?_ Lily studied his face, tracing each familiar feature, staring into the endless depths of his eyes. She smiled at him, her breath gone, she was so bewildered by him and the moment. She nodded, because she was sure, _so fucking sure_ , she'd never been more sure of anything in her entire life.

Tenderly, he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. He smiled at her, soft and tender, but still the same smirk she'd come to associate with mischief and mayhem. His eyes were so full of love, but still held the same laughter and intelligence like they always had. He was the person he'd always been, _James,_ just James, he'd always loved her so much, and she could finally, _finally_ see it.

He was just so, so, perfectly James and her heart was so full.

* * *

James brushed over her soft ivory skin with his fingers, his rough hands tracing a line from her throat, to her collarbones, over her pillowy breasts, his hands spreading against her flat stomach.

She lay completely bare before him.

Not just literally, but all of her thoughts, all of her feelings, were written all over her face. His eyes traced over every feature of her face, heart-shaped and rosy, full lips, tiny, sloped, nose, red hair, emerald eyes, memorizing each individual feature, mapping the location of each freckle, each eyelash.

Every feature held so much love.

James thrust into her wanton body, feeling her tight walls hug him perfectly. Lily's soft legs brushed up his sides, wrapping further around his hips, letting him deeper into her, her feet pressing hard into his arse. Her small body shook and rippled beneath him at his every thrust, her hips rising to meet his in frantic waves. Her hands fumbled wildly, as she gasped and moaned, twisting in the sheets, brushing through his hair, scratching his shoulders. James brought his own hands to her arms, brushing them away from his shoulders, pressing her arms and her small, soft, hands against the bed, covering her hands with his much larger ones, his fingers weaving through hers.

"James!" She moaned his name loudly. The bed was creaking softly beneath them, and her eyes were closed, her head bent back in ecstasy, her back was arching up towards him so that her chest met his with every thrust.

They were both panting, whispering each other's names, and he couldn't get over just how fucking perfect she felt. James forced her legs up further, holding them bent, pressing her against his rib cage, allowing him to thrust into her deeper and harder. They both gasped loudly as he pounded her into the mattress, each thrust harder than the last.

Lily's eyes opened and their eyes met. Her pupils were dilated, and her eyes were so fucking green, and it was her, _Lily._

James could feel his cock pulsing inside of her, in time with his heart, beating wildly in his chest. Lily's auburn hair was curled against the pillows, her green eyes stared deeply into his, her full lips parted, little pants escaping through them, her soft skin was slick against his, and her legs squeezed him tightly. He was in awe. He was in awe of everything she was, of how much she loved him, He'd never seen something so beautiful, so perfect.

"Faster," she whimpered, her voice high and thin.

He quickened his pace, pounding into her relentlessly, feeling the slick skin of their hips clash together. Lily's toes curled against his back, as her eyes closed and she screamed his name.

He kissed the pale skin of her neck, sucking on her pulse point, pressing soft butterfly kisses to every inch of skin he could possibly touch.

"Lily" he moaned as he tasted her skin.

" _Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily"_ he whispered passionately. James felt her hands weave through his hair, gripping it roughly, pulling at the roots. He groaned against her neck, exhaling onto her soft skin there, still thrusting into her.

He felt himself climb further towards the edge, up, up, up, higher and higher towards an impossibly tall ledge that he knew he would soon fall off of. The feeling curled within him, deep inside him, swelling and inflating towards a point where it would undoubtedly burst.

Lily arched upwards towards him and made a breathy, gasp-like, sound that greatly resembled his name as he hit just the right spot within her. He kissed the bone behind her ear, pressing his lips softly against the skin there, "I love you" he whispered against her ear, his voice breathless and soft.

" _James_ ," she breathed, her chest heaving against his own, " _James_ ," she whispered dreamily, her fingers gripping his hair tighter. " _I love you_."

* * *

Lily was warm.

She was so, so warm, her entire body tingled with this fuzzy, giddy, kind of warmth, and she felt safe and happy and completely at peace with the world.

Lily was aware that she was completely naked, the only thing covering her was the silky comforter of her bed. Her own bare skin was pressed up against someone else's soft, warm, skin and she smiled softly against it, remembering the previous night and thankful that it hadn't been a dream. Lily's body was curled tightly around him, her legs tangling through his own, her cheek pressed up against his warm, soft, chest that rose and fell with easy, gentle breaths. She felt his arms around her back, cupping her head, his fingers threaded through the soft coils of her hair which fell loosely over his hand. Her own hands were curled delicately against his chest, and she could feel the heat of his skin underneath her soft fingertips.

 _James,_ She thought giddily, _James._

Never in her life had Lily felt so happy, so safe, so loved. It was as if somehow, everything was perfect when she was with him, it was like she'd been blind and drowning all of her life in an ocean of pain and suddenly someone had breathed fresh air into her lungs and opened her eyes so she could see. Every moment with him was somehow perfect, and beautiful, and untainted, and for the first time in her life, Lily felt as if she were truly, truly alive. For as long as she remembered, Lily had felt her heart, heavy in her chest, expanding and contracting forcefully, as if it were working against some invisible barrier. But for the first time, that barrier wasn't there, her heart felt lighter, freer, and with every soft beat flower bloomed in her stomach and sunlight pumped through her veins. She couldn't describe it, what it felt like. It was unlike anything she'd ever experienced.

 _So this is love, she thought._

Last night, she'd given him everything. Not just her body, not just her love. She'd given him everything she had, everything she was; her mind, her soul, her being. She didn't regret it.

She smiled against His skin, gently pressing her lips to the skin just above his heart. She breathed him in, her nose nuzzling against him, he smelled like James: like Quidditch leather, and the woods, and fresh spring days, and something so uniquely James she couldn't place what it was.

Lily looked up at James, letting her eyes trace the gentle lines of his sleeping face. When he was asleep, he looked younger, peaceful, far more innocent than she'd ever seen him. Every few moments he exhaled short, soft, little breaths into the air, his long, black, eyelashes rested gently against his cheeks, his brow was smooth. James seemed so far away from the spastic, company moving, troublemaking, boy she was so familiar with. There was something very intimate about watching his sleep, he was exposed and unguarded, innocent, and it made her heart well to be able to see him like that.

Smiling softly, she leaned up and pressed a kiss just under his jawline, her lips pressing gently against the soft skin there. She heard him exhale sharply, sensing her.  
Softly, Lily kissed down his neck, tracing a gentle line down his throat, her lips just barely grazing his skin. Slowly, she turned her head up to stare at him.

His eyes were open just slightly, enough to see her, and he was looking at her sleepily, his beautiful hazel eyes tracing her face tenderly. He smiled at her, his cheeks pinching, his barely-awake eyes full of light.

He might just be the most adorable thing she'd ever seen.

She propped herself up on his chest with her forearms, she could feel her softly curled red hair fall, wild and messy, around her shoulders. Lily smiled back at him, and she could feel the giddiness and happiness that coursed through her turn the corners of her lips up to almost a painful extent.

James lifted his hand to her face,his face gentle and loving, and pulled the lock of red hair that had fallen in front of her nose away from her face, tucking it softly behind her ear, brushing his long fingers through the wild, knotted, mess of her hair, as mile never leaving his face.

"Hi," he said tenderly, his voice cracking from sleep .

"Hi" she replied, unable to look away from his eyes.

They stared at each other for a long moment, almost in disbelief, their lips curled into soft loving smiles, and Lily was overcome with an overwhelming desire to kiss him.

So she did, cupping his face in her small, soft hands and gently pressing her lips to his.

James wrapped his arms around her bare back, thumbs tracing soft circles over her skin, kissing her back tenderly. Lily smiled into the kiss, pulling away to look into his love-filled eyes.

"I love you." She said softly, earnestly, naturally, revelling in finally being able to tell him what she'd ignored for so long. James smiled brightly, the same joy she felt deep inside lighting up his eyes, he kissed her again, this time deeper, pressing his soft lips more firmly against hers.

But, as soon as he'd pressed his lips heartily to hers for a single kiss, his lips were gone, kissing her everywhere: her eyelids, her cheeks, her collarbone, her ears, her chin, her temple, her forehead, her nose, and she couldn't hold back the loud giggle that escaped her mouth.

James smiled and pulled her closer, rolling her over onto her bare back so that he could kiss every available inch of skin there was. The sheets twisted around their legs tethering them together, and Lily was laughing loudly and joyfully, feeling happier than she'd ever been before, her eyes bright with a light that only James could ignite. They were playing with each other; she was squirming, dodging, avoiding his kisses, screeching and giggling loudly when his face would accidentally hit a pillow.

James stopped eventually, pressing a soft, tender, kiss to her forehead, and then laying on his side, arms still around her.

"I love you, Lily" he smiled brightly, adorably.

Lily smiled back at him, wondering how it was possible to be this happy.

Lily thought of Matthew Donohue for the first time in a while, a cold iron rod piercing through her heart. Matthew who was sweet and caring and had always loved her and had always cared for her and treated her as any good boyfriend should. She felt a weight settle on her chest."

Probably sensing what she was feeling James smiled grimly and murmured "I'll end things with Claudia today."

Lily sighed and nodded, "Are you going to tell her-"

"That I slept with you?" Lily nodded grimly biting her lip. "Probably," James admitted "I mean, isn't that what they deserve?

"It is." Lily pressed her lips to his cheek, her fingers playing with his messy, black, hair.

"Right" James whispered half-heartedly. "I suppose that's it then."

"Seem so"

"Mmmmmhmmm"

"Right"

"I love you." Lily said with conviction, her hands forcing him to look in her eyes. It made her feel guilty to admit, because she was aware of what she'd done to Matthew, a boy who'd been nothing but good to her, and she might just destroy.

James smiled tenderly and gathered her up in his arms, kissing her forehead gently. "I love you too" he whispered "So, so much."

Lily smiled, wrapping her arms around his warm torso, pressing her cheek into his chest right where she could hear his strong, steady heartbeat. Her eyes closed softly, peacefully, drinking him in once again. James's hand fell to her auburn hair, gently brushing through her loosely knotted curls.

"I don't-" she bit her lip, "I don't regret it" she admitted, breathing the scent of him in, letting it calm her.

"But you do feel guilty." he told her, once again, knowing exactly what she was thinking.

"Yes,"

James kissed the top of her head softly. "I know." he spoke into her hair, just loud enough that she could hear "It's rubbish." he said "It's rubbish that we didn't realize how much we loved each other till last night. It's rubbish that it was behind Matthew and Claudia's back. But," James kissed her face again. "It happened." he softly pried her face up to meet his gaze, and she could see her future, their future, written deep in his eyes.

" The world isn't perfect Lily." He smiled as she nodded in agreement. "You and i? We aren't perfect, but I think..." James paused, sighing, as if searching for the right words to say. "I think, in the end, it was always supposed to be you and me. you know? Like fate."

Lily smirked and looked at him skeptically, "Fate" she said, he eyebrows flying up towards her hairline.

"Yes!" James huffed indignantly, smiling happily. "You and me….Fate"

Lily tried to hold in her smile, biting at the corners of her mouth. He was adorable, really really fucking adorable, and also really sweet.

She didn't want to believe in fate, but the thought of it was rather tempting.

 _Her and James Potter. Fate._

Her smile broke through her attempts at controlling it, It felt as if she was melting into him, all of her felt warm and gooey, and damn him for turning her into a big sop. She was completely full of warm, sweet, soft, bliss. She shook her head, still smiling.

"James Potter," she kissed his collarbone "I love you."

James brushed his nose gently against hers, a soft butterfly kiss that made her giggle. She rested her forehead against his, her eyes closed blissfully.  
Deciding that she best get started with her day, Lily mustered up the self-control to pull away from him, sitting up, the bedsheets falling away from the upper half of her body.

"What are you doing?" he asked her, giving her an accurate representation of a hurt, sad, puppy.

"James." She huffed "We have to get up sometime."

"Mmmmm" He moaned. "Five more minutes"

"James." She smiled fondly.

He was staring at her breasts, smirking appreciatively, and suddenly she felt his arm creep up and grasp her waist. " _Ja_ -aamess!" she whined, slapping his hand away, exasperated, trying to stifle the amusement in her voice.

James tucked his hands behind his head, feeding them through his untamable hair and smiled cheekily at her, clearly trying to hold out on laughing.

She smiled fondly at him, giggling softly as she flicked his cheek with her knuckle. "Cheeky bastard." she laughed.

Lily felt the bed shake with his silent laughter. She rolled her eyes and stared at him indignantly, secretly loving the mischievous glint in his hazel eyes.

With a growl, James flung his arms around her tiny waist and pulled her backwards onto her chest turning her giggles into screeching laughs.

"James!" She laughed, squirming in his arms. Grinning against her skin, he kissed the side of her ribs, her arm, her shoulder, the side of her breast, making her laugh even harder.

" _James_!" She cried, as he pinned her to the bed with his own body, looking up at his flushed face, her chest heaving with heavy breaths.

"Prat." She snapped at him fondly, staring at his smiling face.

He was adorable, with messy, black, uncontrollable, hair that stuck up everywhere, bright hazel eyes, alight with mischief and laughter, a stunning, blissfully happy smile, and chest heaving breathlessly from laughing.

He was smirking mischievously as he grasped her wrist gently, bringing her hand to her lips, kissing her knuckles sweetly, nearly making her melt again.

 _"Jamessss_." She said warningly, trying to glare at him even though she was holding in her laughter.

James merely kissed her knuckles again, raising his eyebrows, feigning innocence.

"What?" He said, indignantly, as if her were doing absolutely nothing.

"James," she smiled at him fondly as if saying _Really_?

"Lily"

"What?" She sighed exasperated, but blissfully happy.

"I love you." He sung, his voice light and airy.

Lily bit her lip as she smiled, feeling her face heat up. "I love you too."

* * *

 **I love all of you so much, thank you for reading this! Please review (but keep it somewhat nice, criticisms cool, berating isn't)**

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